working at it...

Went past my one month goal and I keep working on staying away - one day at a time.  So far I've succeeded . . . .  For some reason, though, I find it hard to get as excited about other things as I did going to the casino.  Believe me, I WANT to enjoy things as much - of course I'm only thinking of the good times I had back then- not the painful reality of the shame, guilt, lies, deceit, frustration, fear, etc., all rolled into one bundle of nerves. :]  I do know all that logically but on an emotional level I miss the excitement.   Or - - -maybe I was just addicted to the roller coast - the rush! The excitement of the possible "big" win.  Just venting feelings - reality IS I can't gamble normally.  One of these days I'll stop going over and over it in my head and not write these boring entries :]  - - -it will happen.  Lately I just feel like things are ho hum and boring... anyone else have any of those feelings?  Anyway, I know I'm better off and will continue to stay away!! Money going in the bank - - -and that's GOOD!Take care,Hugs to all,Smokeygirl