Wondering...wandering...
I am wandering around the house tonight wondering how I can get on with my life without Duane. I am doing all that I can to try to move on, but now at almost four months I feel back at square one. I miss so much coming home to him after work. Coming home to an empty house really sucks. He had the most wonderful sense of humor. Tonight while cleaning out some stuff, I found a note he had written about how to use our new coffee pot. It was hilarious. I laughed and then I cried knowing there would be no more such notes. I just read a post from Kindredspirit about how people lie about it getting better. I know I am honestly giving it the old college try, but it still seems like I am in quicksand. I just about pull myself up and out to safety, then get sucked back down.
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I am sorry for your pain and sad to tell you that you are where you need to be. 4 months is very early to realize what has happened and figure out a future. Grief is not linear, but rather a sense of hills and valleys. At. the early days, from my experience, there are more lows than. highs. I am told and believe we can't go around grief but must go throughit. There's no recovery from this loss just a learning to accept it and store the,memories in your heart..
I lost my husband 10 years ago after 40 years married. He was my first love meeting at 16 years old. I understand your frustration, because I felt it too. Keep sharing and let yourself vent, cry, and be angry. You have earned that right. Hugs, Sharon
Thank you.