Wondering how this week will go ...

Tomorrow is October 1 st, and I'm sitting here wondering how this week will go. What I'm talking about is how he's been acting as far as the monthly bills that are due  / and over due - ( the old electric bill ). While yes I do understand his frustration over not having the same amount of clothes and personal items that he used to have, still I wish he would calm down somewhat and accept the fact that bills need to be paid first - then he can get " whatever " he feels he needs. I've already told him many times that I understand that he needs certain things, and I have " no problem " over him spending money on them. He knows that my main concern is simply to get the old electric bill caught up, and the monthly bills paid.... and after that I have no problem on " whatever " is bought. I even offered to only eat Meals on Wheels, and not have dinners, if that would help with the bills' expenses. But he said he would not want me to do that. 

Today he asked me " when " I would get " my money " for October. I told him not till the 3 rd - Wednesday, and that I would be paying rent, and spectrum then. I asked him WHY he asked me about it, and I didn't get a very clear answer. All he really said was... " you know I have to do ' things ' in 2 parts, " meaning the deposits - I'm assuming. I hope and pray that's what he meant. I can't think of anything else he might have meant. He's sworn to me multiple times that he's NOT planning on leaving me AGAIN ! ..... PLEASE GOD... PLEASE ... PLEASE... PLEASE.... Please have him STAY, and once the bills are all paid for October, PLEASE have him calm down then... and have peace and calm in his heart, and soul once again.... especially after he buys several of the things he wants / and needs once I've paid the bills. 

He went out for a " walk " about ONE hour ago... around 1:30 PM ... it's about 2:30 PM right now... He hasn't called me, which isn't a surprise the way he's been lately. 

When he was walking out the door I made a comment that I was sorry that he must have some heart burn from eating the left over pasta, and I hope that he feels better..... He said that that won't happen till FRIDAY !!!... That he WON'T feel better till FRIDAY !

Does this mean he's going to be a jerk to me till then ????? ..... I sure hope not... 

BUT... just in case, I do know how to " tip toe " around to avoid any possible confrontations. I'll be sure to do that till Friday, and hopefully by then he'll feel a lot better. 

Last night he suddenly - out of the blue - mentioned that he's going to need to get new eye glasses at some point. He didn't say " when " exactly, but he made a point out of saying that they would cost around 200 bucks ! Why would he mention about this suddenly ? Why ? I sure hope, and pray that he didn't mention this to me last night as a " cover story " about why he would have to spend 200 bucks on something, and it turns out that he's actually spending it on a Greyhound ticket ! 

PLEASE GOD.... please don't let him leave me AGAIN !!!... NOT AGAIN !!!