Wondering.....

The way he's been acting lately how can I help but wonder if he's trying to push me away. He's done it before several times in our past, so I know the signs. I'm hoping, and praying, that he's being truly honest about things. As long as " everything " he's been telling me is the honest to God's truth, then he's not trying to push me away. Instead he's just being honest, and open about what's going on..... I hope that this is truly the case, and not the former scenario. 

I don't want to go through that sort of deception again. A person can take only so much until they finally reach their ultimate breaking point. He may think that since I haven't completely " broken " yet, that I am " invincible ", and I will continue to take ALL of his b.s. over and over again, etc.... But that's simply NOT the truth of things. I'm only HUMAN ! I never claimed to be more than HUMAN ! I never claimed to be PERFECT ! If he wants " perfect " then he needs to follow the yellow brick road, and go to the land of Oz. 

Right now he's more than frustrated over the struggle to get all of his things shipped down here to Florida from Missouri. I've told him many times that I understand that he's going to have to send his friend in MO. a certain amount of money each month to ship all of this things down here. I've reminded him that I'm not worried about it, and that we will be okay. Still it's like he's got cotton in both ears, and he's been refusing to completely hear me. He acts as if he's assuming that I won't stick by him, and support him through this awkward / difficult time. He's pointed out more than once now that " money will be tight while he's sending money to MO. to have his things shipped ". He says that to me as if he's expecting me to start yelling at him about it. When I don't start yelling at him he starts to repeat himself. It's so frustrating since it makes me start to sound like a broken record. I have to continue to say the same exact thing over, and over again..... that We will be " okay ".. We will " manage ", and I do understand that money will be " tight ". Why can't he hear me, and accept that I am being honest in saying that I am on his side... I will stand by him during this hard time ? 

He wants me to let go of the past, and yet it's obvious that there's a lot of past that he hasn't put behind him. He obviously compares me to his exes, and expects me to behave close to identical to them. What's so overwhelmingly unfair is that I know if I was to point out that he does this, and question him about it; he would surely throw a total raging fit ! So I'm suppose to just accept his behaviors, and not say anything about it. Does he realize that he puts me in this situation ? I don't know.... but the crazy part of it is that I can't even ask him that.... or he would definitely get angry ! So I'm stuck between a " rock and a hard place ", literally !