wish I had someone to talk to

sorry for the sadsack title. I am home now from the market, and gosh darn it, I wish I had someone to talk to, to relate

to here at home before I head out to the office for the next few hours.

So...this post is my chat :)

Actually, it's probably practice too for my upcoming visit with my therapist on Friday.

I know that you guys have seen that in my downtime I can get really troubled and abstract.

Yesterday on my day off my outlook morphed and while at work today, this morning, I just felt really dark and kind of 

out of touch. I tried to accept that it's important to push forward even though your innards feel like

they are sandpapering together and raw. Things got better as I worked more and more. I didn't feel

so in touch with or considerate of others - but I did feel like I was taking care of business. That self identifier

really helped. I realized as I hopped in the car to drive home - that the reference of 'how I am now, that I am driving,

now that I am going home'...how will I hold it together??? I felt confident though after holding it together at work

that I could hold it together at home..maybe in a more aware directed way this time round...hope springs eternal :).. I started to notice that

the people on the radio were really negative and bringing me down, so I changed the channel. Now I am at home

and likewise the people on the tely seem to be complaining, which is getting me kind of down too. 

Things aren't great right now, but I think 'if you feel bad', sometimes you just got to live with it - and there will

be better moments. In all candour I really hope my psychiatrist concludes that a new medicine will help me.

I really would like different work. Maybe I can figure that out too. Peace, Namaste and good kharma... MM