Will things get better, or worse ??? I wish I knew

Lately from one day to the next I never know whether the day will be good, or bad. It doesn't matter how a day starts off because sooner, or later, the day can turn as rotten as a spoiled piece of meat - even if it started off with all smiles, and rainbows. 

Recently he started going back to A.A. meetings, which with anyone one else would be a terrific thing but with him I'm just not so sure. In the past he used his A.A. meetings as his " cover " for cheating on me. I want to believe that he won't do that to me again ! I pray that he won't ! He swore that the same " women " that used to be at those meetings years ago, aren't there anymore. I want to believe that that's the complete truth. I hope, and pray, that he's not just telling me what he thinks I want to hear from him. 

Bottom line is that there's really nothing I can do about it - IF it turns out that he does start cheating on me... using the A.A. meetings as his " cover ", since I need him here. At the risk of sounding very cold about this, I need his financial help. Especially with the raise in the monthly rent.... with that, I'm not exactly sure what I'd do without him here. My only other options that I can think of would be either to end up going to a nursing home / rehab place for " good ", OR begging... and pleading... with Joanne for some financial help - ( just enough to get by each month, with NO cable - just home phone, and internet ). 

Since He's been here for awhile now, and the antenna that was attached to my tv - ( to get AIR tv channels ) - has been UN-attached, I'd have to find SOMEONE to Help Me get a New TV Antenna hooked up to my TV again in order to get a small handful of " over-the-air " TV channels once again.