Will the trust ever return?

Will I ever trust him again? I don't  think I will ever trust him as I did before. Every time he goes some place the thought will pop into my mind is he telling the truth about where he is going? If it is to work I have to ignore any thoughts I have or worries and push them to the back of my mind. I know these feeling will consume me if I don't. It is almost like living a life of pretend or a lie. Pretend things don't bother me. Ignore the worries because you can't stop them or fix em. If he is going to do it then I can't stop him. If the signs are there like before then I will start to get nervous. I can't go with him every time he lives. It just makes me so made that he did this and I am paying the price. The cat is out of the bag and his burden is gone.....Now the load is on me X 100. Just sweep the dirt under the rug. I never could have imagined the amount of pain and damage that a affair could cause. Just the so many deeps of it. Worry about why he went to her, how intimate was it, what they did~no doubt everything since it was almost a 4 month relationship. Can we get past this, what will people say because I want to work it out. Does he think of her when he is with me. Will he still go back to her? This is so the biggest challenge I have ever encountered. Today wasn't so bad. So I know things can heal just very slowly. I had a lot of anxiety to just wanting to be home and be with him. That is the only time I feel somewhat better.
I have been trying to exercise and I must admit that my appetite is not the same since the A. I want to better myself for me...But at the same time the OW was thin and blonde.  Me I am a bigger girl with dark hair. This has put a big blow to my self esteem that was already very low. So I can't say that her looks are not a big motivator to to inspire me to loose weight. Actually she used to be the same size as me and lost a bunch of weight. I just want to be happier with myself.
Hoping for a good night with my husband. I pray he truly means what he says about wanting to be with me. I just worry he will still leave me for her. See there is that darn worry again......push the thoughts away!!! lol
Have a great night everyone...And strength and blessings to everyone also!!