Will it ever be the same?

Sometimes I wonder... will my marriage ever be the same?  Will I ever be able to watch her take off her shirt without imagining her doing it on a webcam for someone else?  Will I ever make love to her without laying there afterwards wondering if it was with him? Thinking about it is so disheartening :(  I feel like my life has been permanently changed...  That I am just desperately hanging onto a dream that will never again be real.  I don't know what about the affair was a lie, and what really happened.