I was at work today ...and worked my buns off as usual. I thought about
some things like my devotion to the job - and my sense of health and well being that has come
from having something to do and to take pride in and to be among others
...but I also know I yearn for more. Wonderfully, having
more than one goal is finally setting alright with me - though in the past it has been a troubling idea.
I am a man of focus and habit. For some reason today
I was just more open to it I suppose...as I got home that this idea struck me.
The idea or really experience of my energy at work - all driving forward, dynamic and regimented and habitual - all those
things mixed up - when I leave the work place, starts to convert to the foci of being in and of the world at home.
I can't deny it, that all that energy doesn't start to make me process things whether I like it or not while I am in the quiet of my room. I think this is human nature. I think I am learning to transition the two worlds...and maybe now I won't get so lost while not
at work. I'll be able to shape and affirm my goals outside of work. One therapist I knew called what we do as we process life is like
"knitting and letting go." It is sort of like that. I have to admit I sort of become a victim of my feelings - my work energy when I am not at work.. but slowly I'm kind of learning to harness it.