Why me?

Dear Kitty,                This is actually from Monday the 29th (the internet is still down because some really stupid people have been ‘hacking’ or something).                It happened last night for the first time in months – bang goes my record. I couldn’t help it; I tried not to...but I did realise that I was doing it halfway through and stopped myself for Hector and Fraser, so it’s not too deep this time.                Isla knows that I did it too. Apparently, I just ‘wasn’t myself’ this morning, and she knows me so well. She went through a list of things that it could be: Josh (no way), home, the Road last night (which was sort of what it was, but not completely). And then she remembered last year.                                I’m to talk to Fraser tomorrow at Drama. Hector’s been such a support; I don’t think he knows how much some of the things he’s said in his texts mean to me. It’s just the simple things like “I would support you through anything” and “We like you for who you are; don’t try to change yourself”. And then there’s “You are not alone”. He doesn’t know how much that last one means to me. I read it and I try really hard to believe it...and then I almost do. That’s never happened before.                So now I feel really, really bad. I don’t want to worry any of my friends. I don’t want them to worry about me. I don’t care about me. I want to be the one who worries about them; I don’t care what happens to me, I just want them to be happy. Really, I don’t care about me at all – I could be run over by a bus for all I care.                On the bright side, Tom seems a bit happier than usual! I hope that he’ll be ok from now on (I know that it’s not likely, but you never know).                I have to go; I have a violin lesson because Mr G is on duty. I’ll write again soon. Lots of love, Me Xxxxxxxxxxx P.S. 22 hours...but I already want to do it again. But I’m going to try really hard not to...for Isla, Fraser and Hector, the three very best friends I could possibly have.