WHY WHY WHY

Hey guys Sorry i wasnt on for a lond ass time i was at the hospital for a while and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but im lost is that the reasons why im having the tantrums that are uncalled always uncalled for.  Ive had bad experience with bipolar medication I was on lithium in the hospital but my body blew up the docs there switched me to abilify but three weeks later It gave me full blown body seizures and I never had seizures in my life.  Im now switched to this new drug called invega.  It works but my depression disorder i fear is getting much worse Im isolating myself more and not socializing at all Ive been only hanging out on face book.  Im starting to hate myself more and more I cant take it.  this disorder is fucking up my life ARGHHH.  especially when at the hospital the docs said they were not positive about the diagnosis but the episode i had fit that catagory alittle.  If they are unsure then WHY AM I ON THE FUCKING MEDS.