Why Today?

I ask myself that same question almost everyday....some days are much harder than others...well...today is gonna be a beast...it has been a beast since i opened my eyes...the overwhelming sadness that makes my stomach feel sick...my mind feel blank...the tears come so fast and hard...I HATE IT!!!
I find myself having a personal meltdown and I have to work...sitting here staring at the walls in my office praying that no one will walk in......"how are you today"...oh jeez...do they really want to know???
I will not give in again...I just want today to hurry up and end so I can go home!
Looking for a little relief from this wave in the morning....love you all so much...thanks for listening once again to the ramblings of a sad old woman.
Walking beside you always...
Jacqueline PLH

Replies

joeymom
joeymom

Wish, I knew why. Never know when it will hit. A never ending nightmare.
Don\'t you hate when people ask how are you doing. I tell them the true now in one word. They ask I tell. Truly hope you feel better & you can find peace.
HUGS!
joeymom
joeymom

Wish, I knew why. Never know when it will hit. A never ending nightmare.
Don\'t you hate when people ask how are you doing. I tell them the true now in one word. They ask I tell. Truly hope you feel better & you can find peace.
HUGS!
Robin4
Robin4

Oh, I certainly know how it is to wish the time away. I always think...\"I\'m wishing my life away\" and that\'s unfortunate but somedays we do just want to see the day in the rear view mirror. Sending you love and prayers for a better week. I always love listenting to the ramblings of a beautiful and wonderful woman...YOU! Love Robin
KimRW
KimRW

I don\'t know why some days are just so much harder than others....but they just are. I understand that wanting the day to hurry up so you can just go home and be yourself. Sending you a hug and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Love, Kim
deleted_user
deleted_user

I just find each day the same... ..going through the motions with my face on but underneath my skin.....inside my body...in my mind and heart all my thoughts and memories are swirling around thinking about David over and over and over it is exhausting and yet I cannot get to sleep at night. I just wish and pray for peace for us all !
AnnM
AnnM

I have come to the conclusion that bad days have to do with gravity....yes...GRAVITY...
I blame it for wrinkles, sagging skin, pimples, backaches, headaches, blurring vision, ringing in my ears, anyone that is a pain in the ass, when I am a pain in the ass...Gravity...yep! That is the culprit...
when I can hardly pick up my feet cuz I am so tired, when my flight is delayed, when the elevator doesn\'t work, when the washer breaks, when there is a population boom...yes...gravity is a factor....
and when the kids in my classroom are being (what is the politically correct word???)--behaviorally challenged (jerks), I am comforted by the fact that there probably is a full moon and it is effecting their gravity...hummmmmmmm lol

Seriously, Jacqueline...I am so sorry that today is a hard one...I have those more than I would like to admit...just know that you are loved and I am here.
Love,
Ann
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

Hoping today is a gentle one and certainly understand those sad days. I\'m not sure either how or why they come yet they do. Perhaps another layer being removed taking us down into the core of this journey that is something we all must do. Not sure? Learning to lean into them when they come is the only way that has gotten me through them. Hoping to feel our children encouraging us to continue on. I\'m so sorry that this it was a sad day sweet friend. With love, Joanie
DunneL
DunneL

I hate it too when people ask how I am. Mostly I just say \"OK\" but even that\'s not true. Still, most people, especially people who don\'t know, aren\'t ready to hear how I really feel. Thanks to you all and to those close friends who understand.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I never know when that is going to happen. I open my eyes, sometimes I feel it before I open my eyes, A terrible ache and the realization that Jay is gone. HOpe you know how we all feel and that we are all here for you.
Hugs, Pam
deleted_user
deleted_user

Wish i didn\'t know how you felt but I do. Never know when those days will hit. Somehow we all just have to power our way through them. i don\'t know how but somehow. Sandi
Ericksmom
Ericksmom

We just have to roll with those days that make us crazy and I have to admit I love AnnM\'s theory - gravity did it!!!!. Huge Hugs, Vera
deleted_user
deleted_user

Had one of those days yesterday. I hate them also. So frustrating! But also cleansing in some ways. My heart feels much lighter today. Hoping you woke up to a better day today. Wrapping you in a tight hug. XOXOX Christi
KandL
KandL

Jacqueline, I am sorry that your pain is so heavy today. Sending you love & wishes for a gentler day. Tight hugs, Linda
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hope you are having some better days. Those really bad ones are so draining. But for me they get less and less as time goes on. Oh, I still have them, even after five years. But they really don\'t show up real frequently any more. Love and a big hug, Beth
biowoman
biowoman

Well you are in good company...some days...we are all just \"sad old women\"...I hope you are feeling a bit better...love to you...Karen