Why Now????

so my girlfriend and i were video chatting a while ago since we are both up. and im crying cause of my step-father and stuff. i actually never told her about what happened with him i never told anyone but my family and theripist. she has tried to get me to trust her but i cant. its not that simple for me i know i love her thats what makes it hard. she told me she needs a break from me. and that im too needy. and she was also mad cause i couldnt even say i loved her but i do the words dont come out that easy for me. cause that means i have to trust her with my heart the last person i did that with fucked me up pretty bad. i dont know what to do i feel even worse then i did a while ago. its getting to a point when my life isnt getting any better. its like im being left in the cold with out a sweater. we have known each other since the sixth grade and we would laugh and play everyday. until what happened with my step-father i wouldnt let anyone hug me or touch me i didnt talk or anything. but somehow she got under my skin she made me open up and after a while the only person i would hug was her or talk to. then what always happens when people get to close of me happened it is just my instant reaction i pushed her away i couldnt deal with her around me. but some how she broke my walls and found me and she is the only one that has ever been able to do that. with out her it hurts and with her it does to. but id rather be in pain with her then with out her.  WHAT DO I DO??? this is one of the worst days of my life???