Why must a good day be followed with a bad one?
So yesterday was really nice. My wife and I spent the entire day together. We ran errands, shopped for clothes, and had wonderful lunch and dinner out. Anywhere we walked in the beautiful weather, she would reach out and put her arm in mine or grab my hand. I was in heaven with this wonderful woman.
Today I wake to find she is "in a funk" (her words). She stayed in bed all day. She made it clear she did not want me near her. Any time I checked on her to see if there was anything I could do, she was curt and harsh. I worked with the boys on homework projects and ran some more errands on my own.
The hope and joy I felt yesterday has been replaced with fear and doubt. Why can't I keep her happy and loving? Why can't I feel secure in this marriage?
Today I wake to find she is "in a funk" (her words). She stayed in bed all day. She made it clear she did not want me near her. Any time I checked on her to see if there was anything I could do, she was curt and harsh. I worked with the boys on homework projects and ran some more errands on my own.
The hope and joy I felt yesterday has been replaced with fear and doubt. Why can't I keep her happy and loving? Why can't I feel secure in this marriage?
Replies
I am sorry that you are going through these ups and downs. But it is not your fault. Only your wife can pull herself out of it. Give her some space and time when she needs it. I think your absence will make her miss you and want you to be around. Hang in there. I am truly cheering for you. I hope that whatever your outcome is that it is the one that makes you the happiest. Good luck and please keep us posted.
Thanks Broken. I just don\'t understand what could have happened. Could her feelings yesterday been acting? I truly can\'t believe that. But the way she feels today is obviously coloring what happened yesterday in her mind. I desperately need this to stabilize and in such a way she is strong in her life for me.
Love for me...
Hoping you the best my friend. I have never been where you are. But I sympathize. Hang in there and give it your all and your best to save your marriage. Nothing more important than family. Sometimes I wished we had gotten to the marriage part and she where I\'d end up. Wishful thinking again. I need her out of my mind. Well best to you my friend. God heal us all please.
you can\'t keep her happy and loving.....no matter what you do it\'s not your job to do.....she needs to do it. If she can\'t make herself happy then she will struggle in every day life in every kind of relationship. I don\'t know your whole story, sorry: Is she on meds? Is she going to counseling? I think it\'s wonderful that you are trying so hard, kudos to you!!!!! Keep it up, your support and love and dedication will help her tremendously. Try and not take her mood swings personally right now. I don\'t think her feelings for you were an act. I truly think she is struggling with something internally and doesn\'t know what....yet. That is where counseling would be a benefit for her (and you). Just love her the best you can, give her space when she needs it, be there when she needs you but also realize that you deserve something too. Maybe this is her time to figure herself out and until she does, just do the best you can since you love her so much but don\'t neglect yourself either. If she isn\'t taking any actions to help herself, you may need to rethink your relationship. A relationship takes TWO people to make it work, it\'s not fair for one of us (I speak from experience) to keep it alive and healthy. Good luck, at least you still have a chance, I would have given anything to have my spouse fight for me like you are fighting for her. Hugs!
Those words help a lot. Thank you.