Why I never clean my room

My dad hates the mess in my room. I know it. he has an obsession with tidiness. Three years ago,he used his savings to refurbish the house, to make his dream come true.
Now, the trouble is, I am very messy. I clean my room just to make more room for my rubbish, clothes, books whatever. So the refurbished house looks like a wasteland even after all the investment.
 
Now, I could show some kindness and respect and clean my room! Not such a great effort, especially since my idea of cleaning is just trowing away what i don't need anymore(unlike mom who has piles of old newspapers and yoghurt cans).
But, what I don't like is the fuss he makes about it and the offensive words he uses to express his disatisfaction towards my behaviour.
 
He makes it quite obvious, by means of gesture and the way he rolls his eyes, that he is not the proud father of a bright daughter.
What also bothers me is how he always looks at the way I dress and lets out some weird annoyed sounds that get on my nerves!! As if I was wearing some goth scary leather straps  . But no! his problem is that i dress plain. That I am not 'like the other girls, 'elegant and sophisticated'.
 
I understand that he has some expectations but I just don't like the way he acts and that he can be quite offensive sometimes. I never tell him anything personal anyway I just ask for money because I don't have a choice now.
But I would really really like to find  a way to allow myself be kinder and clean the freaking room and just do what i am told just for the sake of the other person...I guess I just don't want to see him happy and proud after the way he behaved.
 
I am lost here. 

Replies

warmheart
warmheart

Well ;I know the answer here, and once more I think you do also. The answer isn\'t what you want of course but it\'s the truth.
You need to consider this a bit more is all I think. That house your living in isn\'t yours and he spent all HIS money on making it HIS dream. He did nothing wrong at all...It\'\'s his life and his dream and he worked for it.
Here\'s the issue that I see every single day okay. This envolves the way a person tried to make there points in life. So, so often people say I get the point and they may be right to some degree, but they don\'t have to be so nasty about it. What they leave out is the fact that the other person may have been nice about making there point for \"15 years\" and finally give up being nice because they were ignored for all that time and it did no good to be nice about it.
I see this almost everyday in life. People don\'t want to say that it;s there behavior that brought this bad attitude on because then they would have to take some of the responsibility for the issue.
So now....what to do???
Be ever so glad that you have a father that loves you like he does and lets you live there and helps you with money....Keeping the place neat and clean is a small concession for those privileges I think, and you\'re lucky to have the choice in my mind..
Lastly...you know I\'m right because I know how smart you are....You have just fallen into a pattern of being a bit lazy on this one I fear.
Now for the cloths issue. My favorite issue!!!!!
If you can make your dad happy by simply dressing like a girl and not in jeans and t-shirts everyday.......then just give him break and do it. In life we have little opportunities to make someone happy that doesn\'t hurt or cost us much and this is one of them. You\'ll probably end up with that house and money in the end anyhow, so just make them a little happy while there around....and I bet your going to love yourself for the effort too.
No matter what you decide...I\'m for you always and on your side...may all the blessings in this life be yours. denn

You\'re not lost at all....you\'re always right on target.