Why aren't you here???

why aren't you here?  We all need you.  The babies just have me now and we both know that's not good.  Anna really needs you.  What is her little life going to be like with you gone??  I can't believe you left us.  I understand I guess and I want you to be happy, but I'm a little selfish too and I really want you to be with me.  I miss you so much.  I have no one to talk to.  I just want you back so bad.  Sometimes it so surreal carrying on.  Sometimes it doesn't feel real like I'm at the store and will see you in a second.  But I keep waiting for that second to be over and it never is.  It's a nightmare!!  A horrible nightmare that I will never wake up from.  That our girls will never wake up from.  Our little family is gone forever.  I'm so sick.  

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shelda
shelda

Its a constant feeling of Dread..then you get a break from the "wave" of emotions..Breathe and get out in nature..hug a tree look at the stars and the moon..Breathe ..and wait for your heart to heal. This is my second husband who passed away..still maybe harder as all my children are all grown now and with their own lives..Cherish your family and love your Daughter . Love yourself first..be grateful..sometimes it works,but it takes around 2 years..it is a process not a task