why am I still crying?
It was 2 months yesterday that I lost you. I am making it through my daily routine by keeping busy. BUT when darkness falls so do my tears? Is that because that's when I use to talk to you? So I'm going to be on this site more often and also starting a grief class on the 15th. Still no help from family, I thought I could do this on my own, but now I have to rely on my faith and my new family, you all here. Thanks!
Replies
2 months is so recent, your pain is still so raw. You have come to a place of healing & support here, we understand & care. Hopefully the grief class will also provide support for you. Holding your hand & heart dear friend....Vicki
Yes, you will find understanding and wisdom here. This is too hard to try to go it alone. Vicki is right, this loss is so new, raw, and tender and is in the very beginning of grieving. Let us know how you are doing with even one sentence in a journal. That way we can understand where you are in your grief.
Much love,
Leda
Oh honey, two months is really recent. You cry! It\'s okay. It is so fresh and raw yet. Day by day. We are here for you. Big hugs to you! Barbara
That is why I am here,,,,my family was no help, but my sisters are the best.
love, hugs and prayers,,,,,
Thanks everyone! I\'m trying to understand my family\'s way, but it\'s hard. They don\'t want me to talk about it, get mad cause I don\'t want to go shopping to get over it. He was my only child and I\"m tired of them telling me it\'s time to move on or \'well you knew he was probably going to die anyways because he was on drugs\'. Serious? Wow, just venting here feels better. :)
Vent....Vent.....Vent....and vent again here. We understand, we care.
Someone who has not lost a child is not in a position to give a mom who has, advice. It\'s ok to get angry when they say \"move on\" or \"get over it\". And to hear \"well you knew he probably was going to die because he was on drugs\" is wow... just down right rude, hurtful & ignorant. Both of my sons passed away from accidental drug overdose. They had issues with drugs from time to time. I\'ve had to educate myself about addiction being that my sons suffered with it. It\'s an illness, something they would have never chose to be afflicted with. Just like with ANY illness when a person does not survive, it\'s a tragedy.
Some people really should just keep their mouth shut....but because they don\'t we can come to this supportive group of moms who REALLY understand. They will help us deal with insensitive comments. Just knowing someone else may have gone thru the same thing we have, bonds us close together.
You are doing a wonderful job navigating around this site. Come here as much as you want, when you want. Read other moms journals if you are up to it. Look at our photos, get to know us & our children. We are related now.....we are sisters of the heart.
We are here for....we understand....and we care!
Share any and every thing you need or want. We will always listen! We will never say \"get over it\".....there\'s no such thing. There is learning to live with it, but it takes time to learn....it\'s a hard lesson. Made easier when know the moms here hear us and support us.
Tight hugs sweet friend~~
There is no right or wrong way to grieve but one thing is certain, that doing it alone is nearly impossible. You have to have some type of an outlet and a support system. I think that is what is so wonderful about this site....we understand. It\'s hard for others to say the right thing. They want to say something or they don\'t say something because they just don\'t understand. We do and I hope you can find that the amazing women on this site are such a great source of strength and support and you have a safety net here knowing that what ever you voice...it\'s normal. Prayers for healing. Much love. Robin
I will ALWAYS be here for you. Two months is nothing in the scope of your journey. I had no family support as well (my mother told me to quit crying and get out of house just 12 days after my son died). Please come to us whenever you want to, as often as you want to and say whatever you want to. We understand when the \"others\" do not. Many of us are \"way\" ahead of you on this unwanted journey, but we well remember just exactly where you are at. BTW, my son (age 33) died of an accidental heroin overdose. My remaining son, Jason, is a recovering addict. Hugs, Belinda
The ridiculous things that people say...two months you should be over it...bless them...they are clueless! I am so sorry that you do not have any support from those around you...but seek friends here...read journals...comments...find someone that resonates with you and start chatting with them. We ARE here for you...love and gentle hugs...Karen
Some people are just ignorant... It\'s very sad what people say. It is very frustrating. If they only knew and we don\'t want them to.
I know, I\'m so tired of being told it\'s been 2 months, it\'s time to \'snap out of it\'. Get on with your life, well right now, I\'m LOST and just want them to not say anything if they have nothing nice to say. Even when I told my Mom when Greg died, first words out of her mouth were, well you knew it was going to happen sooner or later and then wow, just think if it was Dad. Well it wasn\'t Dad, it was my only child. This made me CRAZY, I just don\'t want to be around them right now.
I heard one of the Newtown parents say in an interview after the death of his child that when people say that they \"Cannot imagine.\" it makes him feel horrible. That what he says to them is that in order for our society to become more loving, compassionate and empathetic we must imagine what it is like.
There is no imagining here and we are with you and one another. Even though this is a solo journey often there are anchor places along that way that we must tie up to. FMO is that for me as it\'s a place where I can share my heart and know it will be lovingly held.
I\'m sorry any of us are here yet glad that we are... Come here to say whatever is bubbling up within you and know that you are not alone and will be helping yourself and someone else too who may be feeling the same way and has not found the words yet for the expression of those feelings.
It is the discomfort of others that makes them say such things and is not about you. They just want the \"old you\" back and you are not even sure who you are now yet one thing you are not is the \"old you.\" This is a healing and discovering path we find ourselves on in this moment.
Hand in Hand and Heart to Heart we walk and do what feels the most healing for you. Allow yourself lots of wiggle room and it\'s okay not to know what you need either...
Loving care to you and so grateful you are writing and feel the healing that is here in this safe haven.
XO Joanie