Why am I feeling like this?
I actually picked up the phone, called the non-emergency line and told them what my stepfather did to me twenty years ago. They took his name and address, but told me that they would speak to me before they did anything.
I thought I would feel as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders once I did this...but instead all I'm feeling is dread, regret, guilt and the gnawing feeling I've made a mistake. I am so so scared I'm going to lose my mother I am half tempted to call and take it all back...
I thought I would feel as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders once I did this...but instead all I'm feeling is dread, regret, guilt and the gnawing feeling I've made a mistake. I am so so scared I'm going to lose my mother I am half tempted to call and take it all back...
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I hope you don\'t lose your mother. I know my own mother would always choose a man over me. Whatever happens, I just think it\'s great that you chose YOU over HER and over HIM. You put you first, and when I say \"you\" I am thinking of the child you were, who nobody cared enough about to protect and give first priority to. And you have done that now. So what you\'ve done is huge. I can imagine how scary and horrifying it all is, but it\'s a great affirmation of your self and your inner child.Being such a courageous mother to yourself, I know you will continue to be a great mother to your children. I give you great respect. *bows*
Thank you. I was in two minds as to whether to warn my mother, but I know doing so will warn him also and that is not something I want to do. Focusing now on my twenty week scan on Monday.