Why?

I've been carefully medicating for over a week now, so I feel more stable and less shaky.  Literally, when I'm not medicated, I feel like my insides are constantly shivering or wobbling so that nothing feels steady to me.  I've been feeling more and more grounded lately, more sturdy, more solid.  

It's test day, and the kids love to test me on these days.  Getting them to be quiet and sit still is a nightmare.  Getting them to stop copying off each other is next to impossible.  So far, though, the scores have been decent, only two confirmed cases of cheating, and that's not so bad.

And then my honors class.

I have a student that feels entitled to special treatment.  Actually, a number of people in my honors classes feel entitled to special treatment, mostly the freshman.  This one particular student identifies as trans and rants endlessly about their minority status.  They date boys and identify as a boy, but they are gay because they like girls, too...  So confusing.  Every day is another lesson in the LGBTQ+ world...  When I'm supposed to be teaching them biology, which they need to graduate.

In the last month, this student has gone from being generally friendly and only slightly obnoxious to being borderline disrespectful.  I've taught English in China and been very open about that; this student berated me for having 'wealthy privilege' to travel (I make less than $20K a year.).  The student openly calls me names because another teacher in the building doesn't like me (but I'm the one responsible for their grade, and they are not a student of the teacher who doesn't like me.).  Because this student isn't cussing at me, there's nothing I can do about it.

Today, though, they accused me of trying to give them anxiety because I didn't "write a test correctly."

It's a multiple choice test.  I made it open book and open note.  They have ample resources for passing this test.  But because I typed the answers differently on the test than they appear in the book - literally a matter of punctuation, not words, not order, NOTHING DIFFERENT OTHER THAN USING A SEMI-COLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA - I'm causing them extreme anxiety and TRIGGERING them.

I about lost it.

First of all, KID, you don't HAVE PTSD.  Just because you identify as trans does not automatically give you PTSD.  I don't care how much "oppression" you claim to suffer as a 14-year-old middle class white teenager, unless you have been through an actual trauma, you do NOT have PTSD.  You do not get to hijack words just because they're buzz words and all the 'cool' kids are saying them.

Second, just because you feel anxious doesn't mean you have anxiety.  Everyone feels anxious from time to time.  That's a normal human emotion.  You've got to learn to deal with it!  Life isn't going to stop and hand you a treat to make you feel better every time some crap happens that makes you feel bad.  Stress and pressure are part of life!  Deal with it!

Third, I am the teacher!  Since when does my word mean nothing?  I didn't make a typo.  I used the right words in the right order.  Just because you don't recognize them doesn't give you a right to get upset with me.  That's on you!

And why?  Why do I have to sit here and take your baggage into consideration?  Why do I have to consider your feelings over the facts?  Why do I have to provide a million different outlets for your feelings in my science classroom?  Why do I have to sit here and put up with you taking ten minutes of class every day to distract your classmates from the topic at hand to rant about things that will not get any of you a diploma?  I am trying to provide you with a course credit to get into college and further your life.  You are distracting other students!  Why do I have to deal with your innappropriate behavior but you can't be bothered to demonstrate appropriate behavior?

Why do YOU get all kinds of special treatment?  Why don't I?  I was assaulted this summer.  I was forced to do things against my will.  Where is my special plan?  Where is my outlet for stress?  Why am I frowned upon for not being able to handle panic attacks about something that happen a few months ago, but you can?  Why are you treated with kid gloves, but I'm barely even cared for or about?

I should probably just go report this all to their dean.  Let administration handle it.