Why

Why me? Why did this have to happen? Why do I still feel such strong feelings for him and why did my best friend have to go and date him while the wounds haven't even closed up yet? Am I seriously that pathetic? I just want to message the guy I first fell in live with and ask him half of what's going on in my head. But he probably already forgot about me. And I can't blame him. I'm such a failure and a fuck up so no wonder my ex went to my best friend. No wonder I can't find anyone to vent to. Who wants to listen to my pathetic rambles that sound similar to a scratched record on a record player? No one. Why am I still here? Why? Just why goddamnit why?