whoopi
I went over to my Dad's today. I always feel nervous when I first get there - and then slowly I relax. I was hanging out and watching the tv with them and I felt a sense of well being - but then I seemed to lose it. I went on an errand with my Dad. We were mostly silent in the car - I didn't know what to talk about and feel timid about putting a foot wrong. I just don't know why - but I felt I gave them all my power today and as I left I felt forgotten and scattered to the winds. I saw my faults - I saw my weaknesses and I know I still have to be responsible for my life and somehow move forward with it to achieve a sense of success. Writing this down helps. It helps me draw up my strength again and move forward. I don't know why i feel so flawed. Maybe it's time to just move on with the day. Accept the moment but let it pass.
Replies
My sense of being flawed made me feel unworthy for anything - but taking this moment and the practice that I write about for finding solutions, I am letting the dust settle and putting the vague feelings aside and deciding to self appreciate. Maybe it sounds narcissistic. I read the old post about hygge and I will try to give a sense of well being like that. I remembered some of CBT methods of how to think about things and applied them to those flawed sense of things. I will put the fire on.