who would listen!!

hi, i have so much going on, i cant even think straight...  intense things... first of all khaely - my bipolar daughter, last year did not cope in a regular school (neither could THEY cope with HER!) .   this year she has been in a school for special needs children, mentally or physically handicapped. she isnt really either of these, she is BIPOLAR! NOBODY seems to be able to deal with her.  she has no mental or physical challenges, so she looks "normal", in fact - if i might say - she is stunning, bless her.  but with her bipolar, she is either hyper energy, irritating the crap out of everyone, otherwise throws a tantrum - which NO ONE can deal with. OR she's just plain depressed.  i thought that eventually this school would deal with her, she has been there nearly a whole year, they are fully aware of her problems, and they have dealt so well with her, and been so kind and nurturing to her. last week all hell broke loose, khaely lost her temper and threw her books on the floor and started screaming.  they EXPELLED her from the school for this behaviour!  i am BESIDE MYSELF FURIOUS.  how dare they - thats the very reason she is THERE! so that they can help her.  we have had a couple of meetings, and i am so fed up with their attitiude that i dont even WANT khaely to go back there.  i know, i know, everyone's telling me i should ask for a proper hearing, i should ask for a letter in writing, blah blah blah.  i can do that. i probably will do that. but deep down inside me, i got a real big fright, i am devastated and traumatised by what has happened. khaely does NOT COMPREHEND her illness, she told me she apologised to the teachers for her behaviour so why is she not allowed to return to school. i tried to explain to her how important it is for us to learn to control our emotions.  she started to cry and said that this life is just too hard for her, and if she died it wouldn't be hard anymore.  i wanted so bad to cry, but i didnt want to show her that i was breaking. so i held her tight and told her we dont need those people, we are going to go OUR way in helping her. khaely is very dramatic and so i decided to go to the childrens theatre to make enquiries.  they let us watch the lessons, done once a week for 3 hours, learning to act, sing and dance.  khaely said it was good and we signed her up, but its holidays and they start again on 24 january. but khaely was quiet all the way through. her spirit has been broken. on thursday - 20 november- was her 11th birthday.  last night we took her out for supper, and after that we took her to choose a beautiful big fluffy toy dog, which she loved.  today we made a tea for her and all sang happy birthday. she had a good time, and swam with her brother and sister.  but deep down i can see she is not happy.  she asked me what has she done that is so bad, that not only doesn;t she fit in with NORMAL kids, but now she doesnt even fit in with the "retarded" kids!  (which is also difficult for her as jessy had CP). last week, i "escaped" from the children for a while, i told them i needed the bathroom. in there i cried and cried and cried until i vomited.  i said, jessy, where are you? jessy, please come and help me. i just sit here thinking, what is going on?do i have really, another special needs child?will she get educated?am i fighting a losing battle? why is everything so hard? next issue following......