Who takes the cake?
Things have not been so hot here at my dad's house. I think that it is mostly Chi and nothing else. She keeps my dad in his room and I am no longer able to talk to him. Thus, I believe that I am going to go live with my mom for a while. I think that I am happier there. I see photos of my family without having to hide them from my stepmother. It was so sad that I walked into my dad's office and sat in his chair while he was doing a root canal and I noticed that the photos that I had put in his office were gone and replaced with a photos of Chi done by a studio and the other was a photo of the to of them while dad was volunteering in VN. This makes me so sad I cried to my mom about it over the phone. It's not the problem that she put her photos there the problem is that she removed my photos completely. I couldn't find them anywhere in his office or on the desk.
I am so bummed about the situation. I have to make a decision to either stay here or move back to my mom's for a while. And if I was to move back to my mom's would I move all of my belongings, or at least most of them, back with me? Or would I move the things that I only need, in hopes to someday return to my dad's hose and try life out there for a while. Another fear of mine is the fact that Chi might suggest that Ti move into my room, which would be a horrible thing, since this has been a space of mine since we moved into the house.
Tomorrow I have an appointment at the school to talk about my resume and internship opportunities for political science and more importantly psychology. To make the day somewhat better there is a beautiful sunset outside my window. I am sitting here waiting for my dad to get home. I don't know what is going to happen when he gets home. My mom put in a phone call to dad's voicemail, but I am not sure he'll check it before he gets home. How do I tell him what I really feel? I am nervous that if I leave to go to my mom's m dad is not going to support my medical appointments. As my mom tells me, I know that he will suppost me and do what's in my best interest. Luke lives in Durango and is still supported by both of our parents. I want to get this conversation over with. I want to know what is going to happen to my living situation. I still can't believe that those photos are in his office. And that he looks at them everyday. I remember in Gunnison there were so many photos at his dest in the privet office. There were photos of Luke and I and some with dad in there too. What happened? Is this all because she is jealous of Luke and I? Does she need this much approval to have to hire someone to take her photo and then place it on her desk? This is sickening to me. She is a horrible influence on my dad, myself, Luke and her own son.
I am so tired today. I don't know why, because I took the correct medications and have done everything that I think to be correct. Sometimes I wish that I can do this on my own. Maybe not having someone to rely on would be better for me. But, with my manic-depressive illness I need some support, trust and love. I am trying so hard to make everyone happy and now I am the one who is frustrated, unhappy and sinking quickly. This is all a troubling situation and I can't find an answer. I am trying to think psychologically what is happening and how to keep myself in a better place. This is because if I find myself depressed it take so much to dig myself out of misery. And this is where I lose most of my friends and beak some of the relationships with my family. I am getting depressed, but I don't want to be. I want to be happy, and my dad used to make me happy, with the excitement of life. Luke Dad and I lived life together.
Dad hasn't gotten home from work yet so I will try to keep you posted on what happens. Please wish me the best with whatever happens. I hope he listened to my mom's voice mail so it will cant as a buffer.
Goodnight moon.
I am so bummed about the situation. I have to make a decision to either stay here or move back to my mom's for a while. And if I was to move back to my mom's would I move all of my belongings, or at least most of them, back with me? Or would I move the things that I only need, in hopes to someday return to my dad's hose and try life out there for a while. Another fear of mine is the fact that Chi might suggest that Ti move into my room, which would be a horrible thing, since this has been a space of mine since we moved into the house.
Tomorrow I have an appointment at the school to talk about my resume and internship opportunities for political science and more importantly psychology. To make the day somewhat better there is a beautiful sunset outside my window. I am sitting here waiting for my dad to get home. I don't know what is going to happen when he gets home. My mom put in a phone call to dad's voicemail, but I am not sure he'll check it before he gets home. How do I tell him what I really feel? I am nervous that if I leave to go to my mom's m dad is not going to support my medical appointments. As my mom tells me, I know that he will suppost me and do what's in my best interest. Luke lives in Durango and is still supported by both of our parents. I want to get this conversation over with. I want to know what is going to happen to my living situation. I still can't believe that those photos are in his office. And that he looks at them everyday. I remember in Gunnison there were so many photos at his dest in the privet office. There were photos of Luke and I and some with dad in there too. What happened? Is this all because she is jealous of Luke and I? Does she need this much approval to have to hire someone to take her photo and then place it on her desk? This is sickening to me. She is a horrible influence on my dad, myself, Luke and her own son.
I am so tired today. I don't know why, because I took the correct medications and have done everything that I think to be correct. Sometimes I wish that I can do this on my own. Maybe not having someone to rely on would be better for me. But, with my manic-depressive illness I need some support, trust and love. I am trying so hard to make everyone happy and now I am the one who is frustrated, unhappy and sinking quickly. This is all a troubling situation and I can't find an answer. I am trying to think psychologically what is happening and how to keep myself in a better place. This is because if I find myself depressed it take so much to dig myself out of misery. And this is where I lose most of my friends and beak some of the relationships with my family. I am getting depressed, but I don't want to be. I want to be happy, and my dad used to make me happy, with the excitement of life. Luke Dad and I lived life together.
Dad hasn't gotten home from work yet so I will try to keep you posted on what happens. Please wish me the best with whatever happens. I hope he listened to my mom's voice mail so it will cant as a buffer.
Goodnight moon.
Replies