WHO KNOW\'S?!?!?
Thursday, 11-20-08: It is getting cold again....I hate it! Tonight it will be in the teens. Life seems to be even harder when it is cold! Even going outside is a journey....coat, gloves, shoes, etc. YUCK! Thanksgiving is one week from today. Last year I spent it in bed. Really. This year my Mom wants to buy a prepared meal for us. I am good with that. I have NEVER done that before but it is a step.... It will include all the yummies plus I will make my extra special items. My kids may not be thrilled but...oh well....! I will be cooking for Christmas. I am all about the easy for this holiday. I have not been on for a while. I have been quite sick. Off/On. This past Monday I went to the doctor and I was just this side of pneumonia. I was off work M/T/W. I went back today but had to leave early for an appt. I scheduled a month ago. I had cervical polyps removed. OUCH! I am taking off tomorrow, as was scheduled. I could probably go but I am having some pretty stout cramps. They are much like contractions. I will have the lab results next wk. Had the one polyp been just a bit bigger, I would've had to go to out-patient surgery. Thank goodness it wasn't. So, I will take tomorrow off, sleep, clean, whatever I feel like. I really don't care. I have sure had a rough time this second year. It has been a few days over 17 mos. since Scott died. In so many ways it is so much harder. For example....I am going to start using my Total Gym. I love the thing. However, Scott used it the day before he died. It is still set on his setting. I will have to change it....his is HIGH....mine is LOW! That is no big thing in and of itself. It is just one more thing changed that will never be the same. Crazy, huh? On the other hand, Scott wanted me to start working out with him, so I think he would be glad I am going to.It just hurts so much he isn't here to "make fun of me". He would've teased me about being such a light-weight. I miss him so, so much! My heart aches. My stomach aches. And, my head always hurts! I heard from my author friend. He liked what he read of my manuscript and sent me the name/address of where to send it. I still have a lot of work to do. Wouldn't that be something? Me? A published author. It has been my lifelong dream. However, this book is only here because my son died. It is truly bittersweet. I would take Scott back in a mili-second vs. being published! Of course, one hasn't happened and the other never will. I have once again joined the Secret Santa thing at work. I like it. It is a nice distraction. This year it is someone I know and really like. The thing is, it will require an extra effort on my part. She is Jewish. I know quite a bit about that, although I am not. In any case, I have been doing research on Jewish customs of Hannuka. (sp?) And Adam has a close Jewish friend so I have been asking her for gift advice. We are on a VERY strict spending amount. It will require me REALLY thinking and that is good. Yet another distraction.... To all of you who have kept up with me in spite of my being reclusive, thank you. To you, and all the rest,......Peaceful wishes!
Replies
Well, you have had a lot going on, haven\'t you? Good to hear that you are okay, I was getting worried. I know the Holidays will be hard. Thanksgiving is at my house this year and I am taking a shortcut, too. I ordered sliced turkey & gravy from a local meat market. That way, if someone wants turkey sandwiches, they can, or just put slices on their plate. With the RA,--prep comes hard and a turkey is so much work. Of course, I am still making the stuffing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cheesy corn, relishes, etc to go with. My hubby is very helpful and will help with the chopping, etc. And my sister is bringing fruit salad and a cheesecake torte, I ordered a blueberry pie (homemade) and my nephew\'s fiancee is bringing pumpkin torte. Another friend is making punch and with soda, etc--we should be set.
Congrats on the book action! I will hope and pray that you do get published. Wouldn\'t that be wonderful?!
It is cold here in WI, too! Tonight it is supposed to be 14. BRRR!
Hubby is going deer hunting around here, his folks live in the country, so tomorrow I am doing a little shopping.
I can\'t do much at a time,--mostly, just to get out for a while. I wish you a peaceful and wonderful weekend! Love, Judy
So good to hear from you! This second year is hard, I have many days that I wanted to just hide. Holidays ar tough...but your plan sounds like a good one. We are having Thanksgiving Sunday because we will travel to the beach on Wednesday...I feel more like it this year than last year...so that is progress, right? Take care and come when you can...love to you...Karen
Boy, does it sound like we are in the same place! When I was told the second year was worse I just couldn\'t believe it would be, but it is worse in a different sort of way. The shock that protected our minds has long ago worn off and reality sucks!!
It\'s so good to hear from you! I\'ve been a bit of a hermit myself. Only getting on for a moment here and there. But I realize I need this site and I need to have the connection with others who truely understand. I\'m here for you whenever and however you need me! Sending you love and hugs and hope for a moment of peace where it is possible! Cyn
I am so glad that everything is ok , to speak. Yes the second year was the hardest. I remember wanting to be left alone & not wanting to do anything. But please dear friend let me tell you it will get easier, Don\'t take me wrong. It just I realized I had other family members I need to be concerned about & it is different & always will be different. Our lives will never be the same as they were before our chidren died but the kind of life I wouldn\'t wish on anyone. So have a good weekend & am so glad to hear from you again...Love & hugs, Connie
I am finding the second year harder too. I am hoping I could sleep Thanksgiving away. My Mom mentioned a prepared meal to me. WE don\'t do the prepared meal either but I can\'t think of having to put on my mask & cook. So, prepared sounds good but sleep sounds better. I am sorry you have not been well. The stress can ware us down. Try to take care of yourself. Taking one step at a time together. Love, Lucille
It\'s so nice to hear from you. I\'m sorry to hear you have been so unwell though and yes, with winter coming on it will be harder for you. I know how musch you love to float around in that swimming pool. I could totally relate to the gym thing and changing the setting, no, it doesn\'t sound crazy at all! Frazer and I went to a gym together. we\'
d meet there after school. I have treid to go back, but each time I have, I have had a melt down. It is especially difficult because it is near his high school and often boys come into the gym in their school uniforms, just as Frazer did. I am so pleased that your author friend liked your manuscript, I do sincerely hope you get published, you have at least one buyer right here on the other side of the world! Enjoy your day of relaxing. I have an appointment at the hospital for a similar procedure on Monday. As if we need anything else to deal with!!! Charlotte. xox
Ginger, sounds like you have had a lot going on. I hope you are on the mend and that the holiday will be a bit easier on all of us this year. I know I was in the store yesterday and saw A.J.\'s favorite Christmas candy and the tears started to well in my eyes but I regained my composure and was OK. It is so hard to accept the changes but we do it for our boys. The secret santa sounds fun. I think it will lift your spirits. Best of luck on the book too. Take care. Love Robin
Hope you recover quickly and feel better, Good news on the book. I hear you about changing anything. I use John\'s computer but with all his settings and password still on it. Have fun with the secret Santa, good distraction. Love and hugs Cathy
hope ur feeling better...love u...get well soon!