Who is this stranger in my house?
Who is this stranger in my house? I wake up and there he is, staring at me through my husbands eyes. He tries to touch me with my husband's hands but I don't let him. I know this man is a fraud. I don't know him.
No husband of mine would cheat on me. No husband of mine would have over a year long affair, risking his family in the process. No husband of mine could lie for so long without any indication of doing so...No husband of mine...
Who the fuck is this man? And how did I not know? Am I such a fool? I had no idea.
Text messages...or should I say Sext messages...pictures...videos. Sexts and videos and pictures all too similar to those sent to me...by this stranger. This stranger who's now offering me sloppy seconds. This stranger whose affair never would have ended had I not caught him. This stranger who's mistress I would have met at his graveside...Fuck.
And who am I? What woman considers staying through this? Have I no self respect? Do my children not deserve better than THIS? This stranger pretending everything is ok, saying he's sorry over and over. Sorry about what? That he got caught. That is why he is sorry, not sorry for the act itself because if he were truly sorry it would have ended a long time ago.
This man who pretends to be my husband lived a whole other life. A secret life...I'm sure he mourns it. I mourn my life too.
My husband. Mine. Had an affair. Furtive sex in a co-workers truck on a dirt road like a pervert....Mine.
A liar.
No husband of mine would cheat on me. No husband of mine would have over a year long affair, risking his family in the process. No husband of mine could lie for so long without any indication of doing so...No husband of mine...
Who the fuck is this man? And how did I not know? Am I such a fool? I had no idea.
Text messages...or should I say Sext messages...pictures...videos. Sexts and videos and pictures all too similar to those sent to me...by this stranger. This stranger who's now offering me sloppy seconds. This stranger whose affair never would have ended had I not caught him. This stranger who's mistress I would have met at his graveside...Fuck.
And who am I? What woman considers staying through this? Have I no self respect? Do my children not deserve better than THIS? This stranger pretending everything is ok, saying he's sorry over and over. Sorry about what? That he got caught. That is why he is sorry, not sorry for the act itself because if he were truly sorry it would have ended a long time ago.
This man who pretends to be my husband lived a whole other life. A secret life...I'm sure he mourns it. I mourn my life too.
My husband. Mine. Had an affair. Furtive sex in a co-workers truck on a dirt road like a pervert....Mine.
A liar.
Replies
Your comment definitely rang a bell for me. I long have thought that finding out my spouse was cheating was much worse than when my mother died. I think the reason is that when someone dies, they are gone and time takes care of the healing process.
When someone cheats, they aren\'t gone; they are still there. They are in the kitchen, naked in the shower, playing with the kids, and sleeping in your bed. But, as you\'ve noted, the person you know is gone and it\'s like someone else is living in their body.
Sorry you are going through this; it takes a while to heal and you will do that. Never forget that this wasn\'t about you, it was about him.
I agree with satcom...completely. This entry struck a nerve....
Wow, there are a lot of similarities in our stories. My husband was also in his employees truck in a parking lot. It\'s hard to reconcile the man who cheats with your husband. If he really is sorry and willing to work on his problem it can be better if you want it to. Im not totally sure I want to stay but I love him and I\'m willing to put forth the effort. Good luck