Who is he?

What can I do about how I feel so anger a lot of the time. It is because I think of him deceiving me and all the lies. I can look back and see all the details of the deception and it makes me absolutely sick. Since I found out that they had been corresponding again and I look back at the days we fooled around and when we didn't and one of the nights he went to bed without hugging me or even a kiss and turns out that was a Tuesday which are her days off. I definitely believe that they met up and had sex again. I don't know what to believe any more. I can not believe anything that comes out of his mouth. So foolish me falling for his begging and sweet talk. Lets see how long it takes for him to talk to her this time. The last few days at work have been torture. It feels like I had made progress from dday but then to discover that their relationship had not ended just pushed my recovery so far back that I feel like I don't know if I can learn to trust him again. I look at him and feel like he is a different person. I still see my H but the person inside is not the same. I am not sure about the future of me and this man.