WHO DECIDES OUR FATE---

My curiosity again---

Thinking back to when first married.  Affection and sex were supposed to be a given from now on since I always had a live, loving spouse next to me. (or so I thought)  Things were few and far between, but at that point it wasn't that big of a deal. 

I realize now, after doing some work and examining myself and what I accepted (basically crumbs of affection, attention) I have come to the conclusion it is how I was brought up. I watched my Mom, Grandmothers , Aunts, and basically all of the women do the same thing. We are all taught to be loving, caring , nurturing women. This is a good thing, but on the flip side, when we do actually speak up and ask for help or admit we too have needs, that falls on deaf ears. 

As I spoke with others, I was kind of informed as we grow older, sex is not as big of a deal. Many would tell me the times are few and far between and they really didn't care. So I accepted itas a way of life.  Stbx would just go through the motions with nothing to look forward to.  Then I started to chat with others who DO still want and need that . I did finally come to realize that I should NOT have to spend my whole life without so very many basic needs. I admitted and discovered my wants and needs. (And YES, the fact I was actually entitled , like the rest of the free world, to have them. ) I began (and continued endlessly) to share these with stbx. 

We had a brief discussion this morning. Stbx says again--- I love you pookie bear (from that annoying commercial) I said "yeah, yeah. Translation--- where's my dinner? or did you clear a path in the snow to the car yet?"

He laughs and says "It's the way of the world dear."

My response. "No, it's the way to divorce court."

MY QUESTION  to everyone...

When do we just resign ourselves to fate?   To accept the fact that most (therefore i might as well too) over 50 aren't supposed to want or need sex ? Why do we have to make do wihout?  

I don't want to. I missed out on so much, just want a chance to take a chance and feel what itmay be like to actually find someone who wants the same and share a healthy sex life (as well as other parts missing since I have yet to have a healthy relationship)Those who have faith and religion do believe to love honor and cherish til death us do part.  (Who determines if those vows aren't fullfilled when it is acceptable to move on ?  Or whether to even dare try again?  Does one bad marriage mean a lifetime alone?