Who Cares
When I was triggered by my SIL not speaking to me and a girl I work with not speaking period, my brother who is a Minister would ask "why do you care?" That irritated me because I felt he was saying "get over it; it's no big deal." It really disturbs me when people say "get over it or why do you care." Until I understood "why" I was triggered and what was behind that "trigger" was I able to get over it. I am still not there as that "not speaking" wound runs deep in me. When I was a young child I never knew when my Mom came in the room if she was going to speak or beat.
It's not so much I cared if I was spoken to as I felt like I didn't exist; I was not "worth" speaking to. These are the things I had to look at before I was able to say "who cares." I am getting there; but not totally.
I think it's great for those who can say "who cares" and walk away and really mean it; like your Mom Shari. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I can't. For me it depends on how it effects me. Other people have issues I personally could look at and say "who cares" as it does not bother me; but it does bother them. I often ask them "what is it that bothers you about X,Y,Z? Then we go from there.
Just my two cents worth.
Have a good day all!
It's not so much I cared if I was spoken to as I felt like I didn't exist; I was not "worth" speaking to. These are the things I had to look at before I was able to say "who cares." I am getting there; but not totally.
I think it's great for those who can say "who cares" and walk away and really mean it; like your Mom Shari. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I can't. For me it depends on how it effects me. Other people have issues I personally could look at and say "who cares" as it does not bother me; but it does bother them. I often ask them "what is it that bothers you about X,Y,Z? Then we go from there.
Just my two cents worth.
Have a good day all!
Replies
More to the point of your post, \"Who cares if you forgive yourself, or anyone else, anyway?\" It\'s purely an an exercise in improving your emotional state, which only you can do yourself. (Unless you still \'blame\' others for influencing your emotions and feelings. In which case you are denying your ability to be responsible for your own emotions, which the \'forgiving\' is meant to do.
Rich
I believe I am a Spiritual Being who is Whole, Perfect and Complete. I believe all people in the Spiritual realm are Whole, Perfect and Complete. I forgive myself for my human errors; has nothing to do with God....I don\'t think God forgives anyone because my belief is God does not judge in the first place. And your right, it is not my place to stick my nose in anyone\'s business when it comes to forgiveness; and I don\'t....that\'s between them and their Higher Power, or whatever their belief system is. I forgive me because as I said, in my humanness I have condemned ME. In forgiving me (which is only necessary for me) I am creating an opening to connect with part of me that is Whole, Perfect and Complete...Enuf said! Gotta scoot.
:-)
Hugs,
Rich
Hugs back to you! :-)