White

soft, white pain falling to the ground, dampening the noise from the street the shuffling along of boots on a sweet, lonely night beautiful layer of soft white, glittering, footsteps making marks to be slowly filled in by steadily falling flakes my heart aches alone in the word,     or so it feels soft, sweet loneliness wanting to be joined but it's too difficult too much of a hurdle     too much of a challenge so long waiting so long spent waiting I didn't expect to end up here
no it's easier, though not having to incorporate     anyone into my world easier to manage harder to get hurt maybe I couldn't or maybe I could looking back, there are choices I made that I would have made differently but that was then this is now sad that I couldn't have known then that I could have     may have been able to have what I thought I couldn't is it my fault? it's one of the saddest things in the world not to have true empathy     not enough very sad; might as well suffocate time marches by without     your truly living I kept thinking I could have it was I deluded?     unlucky?         incapable? my heart cries buried under numbness as soft flakes of white fall gently to the ground accumulating over everything—sidewalks, streets, cars     people that makes me smile hold me please it is a dark night, and I'm lost bring me comfort through touch     no words I need you but I can't find you

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

that is one of the most bittersweet poems i have ever read. I give you true empathy as I know what you are going through. only difference is I have yet to get a taste, whereas you have and probably leaves you aching moresoe than I, though it feels like I am alone in my desires and wondering why as well. All we can do is take each moment as it comes and hang onto some sliver of hope that we will both find what we are looking for. perhaps we can continue to give each other solace, not only on here, but by meeting every now and then as we did not long ago. Hope you find some solace in this.
SearchingAndWaiting
SearchingAndWaiting

Thanks....
Dealing with depression...

Merry Christmas, whatever you may be doing.