where to begin Easter

The worst easter weekend imaginable is past me, the first one since the sepration /divorce   i dont even know where to begin, friday the kids did not have school and they stayed at my house thursday nigth so my mom could watch them in the morning and they were going to color eggs.  so it stzrted out normal, but later in the day my mother texted me saying that my kids went for a walk an hour ago and did not come home.  so i called my inlaws house, and then my STBX  called me back saying she knew the girls were over at ther friends house, so i said well they did not tell my mom and she was watching them. 
my mom had told me my oldest with aspergers decided in the middle of eggs to not want to do them and not to want to help do anything just leave the house, and in typical fashion she said some pretty hurtful things.  so my mom did not want to talk to her.  now for where my blood really starts to boil.  i called my STBX again and told her about my daughter, they weer supposed to sleep at her house that night so i wanted to make sure she was punished for what she did,
the first words out of her mouth were, why you can ground her at your house tomorrow, i said what kind of signal is this sending them, that they can be bad on days they are staying at someone elses house and say you cant punish me i am going to moms, it works both ways, she could be mean to you and say i am staying at dads.  well she wasnt listening, and well she was with her new boyfriend, this is the guy who is my drunken old best friend.  who i had enough of cleaning up his messes his drinking causxed and told him to get lost.  and in the background he tells me to pipe down cause i dont wanna go there, wait really, your gonna jump in on this,OMG i got so angry i was shaking.  anyhow i told her this is not a jealousy thing, quite making it about you, i want to fix our kids and get them right, so he has nothign to do with any of it, if we are fighting and i am being nasty to you and its not about the kids, he can be chivalrous and step in as the knight in shining armour until then stay out of my business .   seh still kept refusing to punish my daughter and end result she did not, it was like a party for her while she was out there.  there is so much more to follow