where to begin
I have felt like it is hard to look beyond the box of television or the internet
or my Iphone to find that which tells me what my life is - or what I like -
or what I can conceive of doing with my time. My time and energy is more valuable.
I realize that part of my struggle includes opening up to strangers -
and even when they surprise me and are friendly, it takes me a while to warm
up to them - and respond in a carefree way.
Yes we all have to negotiate and navigate relationships every day -
for some reason - this starting new adventures is really difficult for me
but maybe I am making it bigger than it really is. Maybe it feels like a 'great wall'
but in actuality is just a first step. So maybe that's all it is.
Replies
you know what? it is just a small step a series of small steps. I get so caught up in the overwhelming emotions I get
from the smallest things and dischord that I keep clamped down in a super vigilance so that
I can keep things emotionally intelligent. I need to breath through things and just keep taking steps and deal with the mixture of emotions that can leave me feeling anguished.
I feel so fucked up right now. Sorry for the language - It's just another night.
Sleep will wash it away, hopefully.
I can relate to you having a hard time warming up to people. I have the same problem. I get anxious when I meet new people and I usually have trouble thinking of something to talk about. I have social anxiety, but it's not as bad as it used to be so it does get better with time and work. Take care.
thanks becky.