Where I am

Ive not really written in ages. Nothing of substance anyway.
Depression wise, I am doing much better. I fall every now and again but its never as far of for as long so I think I am turning a corner into a street where I have more control. This is all good but I still get huge anxiety of stupid things, I still fall back on my safety behaviours, which is expensive and destructive. Still, this coping and dealing with things is still all relatively new to me. Must give myself some true credit.
Health in a physical sense, is much more touch and go. I had a solid 3 weeks where I managed a pain free existence, then one night of over-feeding, my stomach goes back to playing me up. I even had blood today. It can be very distressing and exhausting. 60 minutes of stomach cramps take so much energy. I keep getting told to take my meds but I reason that I can manage this with a change to my diet alone. I already eat small meals, just need to concentrate on not having a pig out session.
Still smoking too much weed but I have put in my application to do Open University. Two short courses first, just to get into the swing of things, then I'll tackle my degree. Ya see, I finally have some sort of plan. I also want to work again but that thought still causes the most anxiety. Its all ridiculous to think that I want to do something that causes me pain. Sadist behaviour.



I, for one, am very proud of you :D And so glad to hear things are on an up-swing!


My stomach has been giving me problems as well, and I know it\'s because I haven\'t given great care to looking after my body. Cursed stomachs!