When will this be over?
I am having a really hard time this week. . . the pain just won't let up sometimes. I am afraid that I will get fired from my temp job because all I seem to do is cry and read posts on here. And even though I really don't like this job, that I really think it is a bad fit for me, and normally I wouldn't stay here more than a day, I feel like it would crush me to lose it. Like it would take away my chance to get pregnant again, like it would set me back even more.
I know this is crazy. Maybe it is crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I just don't know anymore. I just want to feel better, but what is better? Is better being able to function without crying, is it being able to breath without this weight on my chest, is it getting pregnant again, is it anything? Will it ever be better? Will it ever be less painful?
Will I ever feel like a person again?
I know this is crazy. Maybe it is crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I just don't know anymore. I just want to feel better, but what is better? Is better being able to function without crying, is it being able to breath without this weight on my chest, is it getting pregnant again, is it anything? Will it ever be better? Will it ever be less painful?
Will I ever feel like a person again?
Replies
You\'re not crazy. It will get better. You\'ll find your healing with time - time to mourn your loss and time to mend your heart. Not by forgetting and moving on - but remembering and taking a deep breath before your next step. You are a person - who has loved and lost deeply. You may never be the same person you were - but one who is fuller and deeper because of what you have experienced. I hope this next week is a little brighter than the last - and wishing you the most light I can to get through it.
PS. I spent most of last week on here and crying in between, all the while hating everyone I work with and the job I\'ve mostly loved for the last 8 years. You\'re not crazy. This is profound loss. Be gentle with yourself, eh? ;)
Much love,
Meagan