when there seems nothing to hold onto

the sadness is setting in again. I am trying to go to sleep but it seems like if I don't have something


that reflects my place in the world I start to get sad and I am trying to shift gears with it and write.

Touching base here helps. I am lonely and it's hard to sleep because of that..but I do have

some very good things to look forward to (a trip real soon) and I can build in to my morning before I go to work

a bowl of cereal or some kind of treat. I'll be 'out the door' at 3am.

I am glad I can express this tonight. I know at times I choose what I want to step into action on

and what I feel good about 

but there are sometimes I might be more spiritually oriented. I think how nice

it would be to be in unison with the hard work and prayers at the monastery - but then think

alternatively that it would stifle my growth - I can visit - but I know I do want

to keep adventuring and keep curious about life. 

I am really grateful to be able to write.

 

good night,
Mark

Replies

arfie
arfie

have you discovered what it takes to join a monastery yet? it's a good thing to be adventurously curious about.

ya got me sitting beside the babbling brook of my emotional stream again. sadness and loneliness are among the more consistent currents. the contrast has its beauty when i'm not muddying the currents with all my oughtistic flailing.
mlr0853
mlr0853

Hugs Mark...hoping you've found the ? that will rest your mind for peaceful sleep....Arfie I love the visual and mental of your words....thank you!!
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady

Hope your Wednesday is a good day. Loneliness is a weird thing.- one can feel lonely in the midst of company …. Or that something is awry with the wrong mismatch around. I think part of the human experience is seeking out kindred spirits as best we can. Figuring it all out on the adventure of life is a common thread we can all
Share….and somehow, thinking in that frame of mind helps me sometimes feel less alone. Sometimes, not always though.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Arfie, Mary Louise and Nikki!!