When the Darkness Lifts

Its been a tough week. 

My physical symptoms, which revolve around not being able to breathe, have been plaguing me since Thanksgiving Weekend Saturday. 

My emotions have been playing rollercoaster since them. Keeping them in check is the goal. Letting them run away from me is where things start going south. The biggest take away from that is feeling accomplished that I have even gotten to the point of identifying when/how that happens. Good on me, I guess. 

Counseling session Tuesday was a Godsend for me this week, as its the first time Ive gone 2 weeks without since July, and I'm still a baby when it comes to my new security blanket. 

I'm still trucking through the book of Matthew and continue to be awe-inspired by the nourishment Christ's own words do for my soul. Why did I not decide to read the entire Gospel sooner?? I feel foolish for the years I spent not feeding my soul with the Word. 

Reread John Piper's "When the Darkness Will Not Lift" and a part of it brought me to tears tonight.  The author's description of King David's torment in Psalm 40:1-3 was powerful. He continues describing the "beauty of a broken man who genuinely cries out to God" and speaks of the patience we seek in order to trust God's timing for deliverance. It struck a chord and I truly wept. 

Tonight, I will go to bed early and try to refresh myself to tackle the day anew.