when my need gets in the way of my function
I wrote some things earlier. I went to the market and did errands.
I came home..did some chores and then things started to speed up
quite a bit. I had a cup of tea, and a bowl of cereal and it seems like
this need of churning energy - is both something I need to give to
and yet it also makes me dysfunctional because the fatigue, sensitivity
and churning need is too much for me to provide for and stay constant with
in my other things that I need and want to do. It's hard to aspire...and have this kind
of thing poke it's head up at me - in a different way time and again.
I don't know if this is something I can learn to cope with.. but the cup of tea
was a calming agent and the cereal was kind of a way for me to cope as well.
Now I am writing and I'll start watching the business news at 1pm... the schedule
kicks in. I am tired and frightened a bit...maybe I should just say "Welcome to Holland" a bit.
Peace to you guys,
Mark
Replies
and now the tremors are coming back.. bleh
I think the thing that comes to me when I am alone and my minds speeds up - it just might be that I need "contact" or "connection" - when I am experiencing this stuff - I know I feel better and more grounded when I reach out - and connect. I organize my thoughts and feeling and I reach out - The connection is something that then makes me feel 'normal' again.
..and if I want connection... that's something to think about... why don't I give it to myself? want it, kind of afraid of it?
I think I am going to start going the gym to be around people on the days I don't go to yoga. Tomorrow I have yoga class!
woot!
When you realize that your needs aren’t being met don’t just respond to disappointment with defeat but turn it around in the way that you get to choose what new choice and answer might be.
For what it's worth:
I don't take my thoughts seriously while my innards are churning. I am most comfortable thinking of them as "fever dreams." Yes, the fever dreams are potently disturbing, but they are symptoms of ? ? ? whatever has my innards churning. Looking for deep meaning in those fever dreams only distracts me from the self-care needed to break the fever.
If, perchance, there really is a deep, important meaning in one of my fever dreams, I trust it will still be there after the fever breaks and I can trust my logical process again.
I really have no idea at this point. I am home from work. I just need to do what I need to do
Big hug Marky..... Sometimes these are times that I just get out for a walk.... Fresh air and sunshine or I'll do a bit of window shopping just to be in the world with other people
Distress Centres or Crisis hotlines might be a good place for you to call as well...…. I used to volunteer at one and people call that simply feel some distress in their lives …. Talking to a person can help to bring you down.... I wish you were in Canada!!!...… Another hug sweetie.....xo
thanks Jan!! :)