when i can't make sense of the moment
it's weird but i get so conflicted inside when I don't seem to have an answer
for what to do with myself. I think in terms of controlling or guiding myself
well with ideas that I feel like everyone has besides me. Well lately
I have started to question that. What I have started to, leading up to tonight
and with more confidence tonight, have just thought "What do I have to get done?"
That seems to focus me - and ground me - but also it's taught me - my thoughts go towards
talking with friends and family in the down time. The heart of it though - is not that I have a perfect
answer - but in the space between taking care of myself - I have my friends -
to talk to - share with - and the whole idea of 'my tribe' is making more and more sense
and feels right. I know sometimes when we scrutinize things too much it ruins it.
I just needed to get this out - and now I am ready to take the meds and wash up.
I've been using night cream for the last week. Us priests have to look good for
the blue haired ladies!! LOL jk - but if i don't use cream my skin looks like crap.
I feel good about the way I look now :).
Replies
That's right you Priest's do have to look good...smile
Maybe some of the thing's that can be part of your down time Marky can be relaxation, finding a calm place, quiet time with Blue
These things are also important sweetie
Thank you Jan!
attempted humor alert
dunno. . . this freshly buzzed blue haired old lady kinda prefers the mutt-ugly priests. you pretty boys look like magazine covers to me. two-dimensional nit-wits, just like your female counterparts. all high maintenance beauty and no brains, best left on the magazine rack. the mutt-ugly priests are more likely to have both brains and insights.
in my own quest for balance between my questioning nature and my craving for serenity, being okay with not knowing is my holy grail. back in the 70's when NPR was still youthfully idealistic i listened to a broadcast which i remember as, "the mystery." i listened to it during one of the more painful phases of my recovery and it turned my life around with its esoteric wandering through the multi-theological/cultural review of "letting the mystery be." it's more than okay if i don't know. the not knowing is what makes life an adventure.
i've hunted through the npr archives more than once for this treasure, but it was pre-internet, doncha know.
I understand totally what you mean and it's something we talked about in my facebook group.
You want to say the right words that will help and you are worried you can't find the right words and that fear can sometimes cause collateral damage.
The simple fact is this. "You showed up!" You didn't run away!. "You were there!" and that is more important then any words you could speak!
I remember a time when I was in a hospital waiting room. There were some people sitting across from me whose loved one was dying and they were waiting for their minister. When he finally came, they were so relieved, you could see it in the expressions on their faces. The minister was carrying a bible in one hand. He listened to what the people were saying and never opened his Bible once. You could tell the minister was a little nervous. He was just a young guy probably just graduated Divinity school...but he showed up and that's all the people cared about.
Just keep showing up Mark and eventually, the right words will come to mind.
God Bless
Thanks Arfie and Bob !!!
There's no reason why you can't put cream on your face. It's sexist to think it's not for men. You should probably do it morning and night. Take care Mark.
thanks becky!