when I am alone
When I am alone I tend to think of themes of identity.. to make sense of myself maybe? - it seems no wonder really....it is my way of dealing with my own sense of self when I am alone, my way of validating and affirming and dealing with myself versus when I am with others...where that information comes my way by being together naturally...
but now I am here alone after work and I know I must think about managing my time - not just becoming lackadaisical - motivation is what I really need - maybe I need somehow an ongoing conversation to help me manifest the energy and conception and direction to do something with my day and life. I wonder if I have an ongoing conversation with God that may just be the way to keep me honest, engaged, energized and clear minded and motivated about what I am actually doing - no excuses in a sense... that it really might just make me go go - rather than just slink into the comfort of the day.
At one time in my life I was highly motivated and now I think I can rekindle that to a certain degree. I think it's time - rather than compare myself with others outside and find that comparison a mountainous insurmountable peak. If I keep my relationships clear within- I think it might be
what the doctor ordered.
Replies
sorry guys. I know that's a weird post. I am just trying to find some kind of answer for myself.
My new therapist has helped raised my awareness and I find myself feeling more and more
understanding that my 'mood disorder' is something I can see within rather than be completely
overtaken by. I feel like I want to achieve more and hopefully just by pushing myself a bit - and adjusting
my vantage - I can get there...
You apologize like there is something wrong with being weird. . . Well go ahead and be that way, but I still ain't making no apologies for my weirdness. Even if I was sorry for it, I'm still stuck with it. Weird is *just* how God made me.
I cannot agree that comparing my innards to other people's outtards makes for mountains to climb. The comparison is not valid enough to make a mountain. I hold it more like comparing a picture of the Grand Canyon to a lifelong exploration of the Grand Canyon. It is far more valid to compare apples and antelope.
Keep pushing, weirdo. Gently and in small moves. Weird can be delightfully valid. Easy does it.
thanks arfie! I am doing cartwheels across the screen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)