When can I get a break
Just killed what I think was a wasp. I've talked about it a few times but I am highly allergic and terrified of them. Ive never killed one before i always have other people do it but it was so sudden i just saw it on the floor and it crawled right by my bedroom door almost went under it. I just ran and got the disinfecting spray and sprayed the crap out of it like a million times made a big puddle of cleaner but it died.
Then I smashed it with a shoe and got a big clump of paper towels and smashed onto them and threw it away. I literally didn't touch it at all but I am still convinced I am going to die I feel so sick and scared. Don't even want to go into my room and hide becayse it was right there by my door what if there is another one?
Last nigjt I had a long vivid dream about wasps being in my house and I had to run from them they were everywhere. I didn't reslly think of them or see many yesterday so I couldn't figure out why I'd have a dream like that. Now I am convinced it was for a reason and that they are in my house. Doesn't help that I came upstairs and the door is open which is how they get in.
I was just starting to feel okay again and now anxiety comes storming in ruining my day. I am gonna be anxious for the rest of the day now I won't be able to shake this one. My room is supposed to be safe but things like this make it feel very scary. No where is safe really.
I hate genuinely feeling like my throat is closing constantly having to look at my face for swelling shine flashlights down my throat to see if it looks swollen I'm so tired of this it never gets better it's been years and years since the actual incident happened but it's only got worse. Even with pushing myself and seeing them literally every freaking day outside. Never goes away.
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Perhaps we can shift the focus ever so bit a bit to celebrate the victory. It came. You saw. You conquered.
!!!!!!!!!!!GO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My corner of the planet has so many yellow jackets that the local schools are fighting over who has rights to name their sport teams after them. Go figure. . . Kinda rough for the folks with allergies, though. The good news is that they don't sting unless they have to and, theoretically, you are bigger and smarter than they are.
Yeah I guess it is good to look at the positives. This is one of those things that I have a really hard time being positive about because its like absolutely terrifying. I guess it's good I took care of it myself though because if I waited for someone to come kill it, it would've crawled off and got lost and I would not have been able to find it.
I am a little calmer now I just got back down to my room. Too hot to sit upstairs, I guess that is a perk to sleeping in the basement. It's always cool down here.
That sounds scary though. Where I live there isn't a lot of them but I am in the country so there are quite a few flying around during the summer.
Not everybody has the same fears, but we all have fears to deal with. I try to approach mine with mastery. I learn about what it is I am afraid of so that I can master my fear. E.g. I used to have a paralyzing fear of guns. I mastered the fear by learning how to shoot and how to get a gun away from an assailant. I still don't *like* guns, nor do I own one, but I will be able to deal, should the need arise.
I kinda wonder if I should have a gun, though, to protect my chickens. There sure are allot of things in nature that like a nummy chicken dinner.
I know you are dealing with the anxiety of the situation and the adrenaline rush (anxiety flu on the way!) BUT YOU KILLED A WASP!!! you've got to stop shaking for a few mins and just pat yourself on the back and give yourself credit---you dealt with something scary and anxiety producing and you whipped its butt!! you just acted and solved the problem! wooo hooo! If you killed one wasp and survived--you can kill two---if you can kill two...you can kill 3 (see where I am going with this?) pretty soon I expect you will be walking out the front door of your house with a can, to go for the nest (do it at dusk or dawn when they stop moving and they get stupid...then run back inside as fast as you can! (ps-depending on how allergic you are-carry benedryl or an epi pen with you!)