When bad things happen to good people
What happened to me? I used to be so happy and thin. I could have anyone as a friend and I was a social butterfly. Now I don't have a real best friend and I feel so down and lonely. Even if Rachael and I were to become friends again these problems will persist. There will always be an elephant in the room. Plus she has new friends now so nothing is going to change there. Katie is difficult to read. I know that she comes to Denver and doesn't tell me that she's here. She likes to hang out with Rachael and I am simply not invited to the festivities. It kinda pisses me off. I don't want to go back to Crested Butte I think that it is almost two years that I have not been back. I don't want to be around those people too. It seems the only thing to do in Crested Butte is party, the locals do it constantly. That is depressing, I wonder how many are alcoholics? I got to school earlier than 7:30am and my class is at 10:00am I didn't know what to do so I went to the computer lab. I suppose it is fine to dick around for a while.
I hate facebook. This site allows me to look and see the lives of the people I used to know. This social network only gives me anxiety and a depressed feeling. It also records (with photos) what people are doing and who they are doing it with. So when I am looking at photos of Katie I might come across one with Rachael in it and then it just makes me sad that I am not there with them, smiling and have a good time, making better memories. No one ever calls me, I am detached from these once friends. But, friends are meant to come and go with time. I'll make new friends when I am ready or when it is time. I have a car now so it will be easier to get from point A to point B. Someday I hope to be better than this, better than those the ditch me and think of me as disposable. I am a good person I don't deserve this. I have go to go prepare for class. I am at my moms for part of the weekend and then dad's birthday is on Saturday so I may not get to writing.
Goodnight moon.
I hate facebook. This site allows me to look and see the lives of the people I used to know. This social network only gives me anxiety and a depressed feeling. It also records (with photos) what people are doing and who they are doing it with. So when I am looking at photos of Katie I might come across one with Rachael in it and then it just makes me sad that I am not there with them, smiling and have a good time, making better memories. No one ever calls me, I am detached from these once friends. But, friends are meant to come and go with time. I'll make new friends when I am ready or when it is time. I have a car now so it will be easier to get from point A to point B. Someday I hope to be better than this, better than those the ditch me and think of me as disposable. I am a good person I don't deserve this. I have go to go prepare for class. I am at my moms for part of the weekend and then dad's birthday is on Saturday so I may not get to writing.
Goodnight moon.
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