What to do now?
tomorrow I will be picking up Tom's remains. Just writing the words is a start realization that he really is gone onto another world. I really don't know how to go on without him. He is my soulmate...I've been reflecting back to the early days of our relationship, and how at the time, I was astounded by the fact that nobody had ever made me feel the way he did. And while I don't want to be alone for the next 30 years or whatever I may have left, I fail to see how anyone else could ever make me feel like that again...it was like Tom and I were put onto this earth for each other...brought together, and then ripped apart by fate...
at the time we started dating, people kept telling me 'he's too old for you', just as they were telling him 'she's too young for you'...when we went out, some people assumed we were father and daughter. Even at our wedding, one of the guests who had never met him didn't realize he was the groom...she thought he was an uncle or something. But age is just a number. And while he was 15 years my senior, he was still only 59 when he passed...it just hurts more every day, knowing that I will have to wait until my own demise before we are re-united. And while I am thankful for the 22 wonderful years we had together, I am sad and even bitter about the 22+ that we won't. And about the fact that our son must carry on without his dad. I keep staring at his pictures, wishing I could just push a button and have him emerge from any one of those images.
at the time we started dating, people kept telling me 'he's too old for you', just as they were telling him 'she's too young for you'...when we went out, some people assumed we were father and daughter. Even at our wedding, one of the guests who had never met him didn't realize he was the groom...she thought he was an uncle or something. But age is just a number. And while he was 15 years my senior, he was still only 59 when he passed...it just hurts more every day, knowing that I will have to wait until my own demise before we are re-united. And while I am thankful for the 22 wonderful years we had together, I am sad and even bitter about the 22+ that we won't. And about the fact that our son must carry on without his dad. I keep staring at his pictures, wishing I could just push a button and have him emerge from any one of those images.
Replies
Your pain is severe and as one who shares that loss I understand your feelings. I wish I could help take that pain, but all I can do is say how sorry I am. Hugs, Sharon
My wife was older too, by 8 1/2 years. When I proposed, she actually asked me \"Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I\'m 64?\"
We were married 25 years, and yes, I still needed her until 63 1/2.
What now? You are adjusting to life without Tom. You had a life without him before you met him. Everybody adjusts differently. If and when someone comes along who also is for you, you will know.
Right now, you need to get to know & love yourself again, and in some ways it\'s like meeting yourself for the first time.