WHAT THE EFF

onto my journey to ???. i feel lost with him, and more confused. i feel unlike myself, and not understood. why is it when i speak my mind, i get a questioning glance, or a confused glare, or a complete disagreeance to what i have to say. why do i feel like i always have to explain myself, explain my interests, explain my humor, explain my comments! i want someone to get the hell what i'm saying!!! i want someone who can share the excellence that is me. but it's really going both ways, that's for sure.
he feels like a paycheck, and i feel like a sex doll.
i want us to experience the joys of each other! of each others minds, and souls, and interests!
i don't want to marry him. but what do i do now? i want to leave him, but do i really? am i just going thru something? i always come back to this question.......
I CAN'T STAND HIM ANYMORE!!!!! I  WANT  OUT!!!!