What should I do ????

I'm not ignorant of what is " probably " going on, as much as He probably thinks I am. But still, as much as I suspect things, there's just no way I can confront him about anything without any " real " proof.... plus there's simply no way I would confront him at all about it anyways, knowing his unpredictable rage. A very good example of it was just the other day when he was about to walk out the apt. door, and his cell phone msg alarm went off.... and he mentioned that it was " Lauri ". I simply ask an innocent - honest question.. " Lauri ? " .... and he gives me the most EVIL / HATEFUL look ever ! If it hadn't been for the fact that he was on his way " out the door ", I wouldn't have doubted for a moment that he might have come at me to hit me - or he may have started throwing something heavy and painful at me ! Either way... the object would have been to HURT ME for simply asking WHO Lauri was ! 

There was NOTHING... NOT A DAMN THING wrong with me asking... but I don't dare even attempt to explain that to him. 

I'm so tired of this damn ROLLERCOASTER ! 

Every damn day.... I don't know what is going to happen.... 

Is he going to be decent / nice / and caring ?????? .... 

OR Is he going to snap and growl at every single thing I say no matter how innocently I say it - with NO ill will intended ! EVERYTHING is ALWAYS MY FAULT..... ACCORDING TO HIM... ALWAYS... IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FOR FAR TOO DAMN LONG ! AND I'm SICK OF IT ! 

Of course whenever I mention that he's doing it again ---- blaming EVERYTHING on ME --- He always twists things around, and tries to laugh it off in order to make it seem like it's ONLY my imagination ! .... AGAIN... Just another way of blaming Me for EVERYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a broken record every day..... and I'm sick of it.

But ... WHAT do I do without a roommate here to help " financially " ? 

Sure I could cut back drastically.... and struggle every month... barely having anything left each month for Toilet Paper, Bath Soap, and Shampoo.... not to even mention Laundry Soap ! .. or Paper Towels ! 

So... WHAT the HELL do I do ????? 

Besides win the damn Lottery... I just don't know right now.... 

PLEASE GOD... PLEASE GOD... PLEASE GOD.. PLEASE GOD... PLEASE HELP ME !!!!!

HELP ME FIND A WAY GOD... PLEASE HELP ME FIND A WAY.... HELP ME FIND MY PATH !!!!