What's wrong?
How did I get here? Where is the disconnect that allows men to lie with women and then leave them to be pregnant alone and perhaps raise the children alone? I am not a prude. I understand that sometimes its about sex and children are created. But I didnt just fuck some guy and get caught. I had sex with my husband. So 9 months ago he wished to be with me and throughout the pregnancy his involvement and assistance has been sporatic. I'm pretty much going through this without him. When this happened with my first pregnancy before I got married this was sad but understandable. But now that I am married to this man. I still care for him and he has been cold and worse to me.
I wonder if I should just move on. I have the divorce papers ready to be signed. I discussed it with my counselor and he suggested that I give it some more time b/c my heart is still in my marriage. I see no signs of my husband changing and although I have changed in some ways I am unable to change where I am okay with things the way they are.
I find my current situation so terribly sad. My ankles, feet, and legs are swollen. I am so uncomfortable.
My husband was just evicted from our family home and doesnt yet have a place to live. I saw this happening months ago. He has been approved for an apt but did not save the needed money to be able to move in. Living with him months ago was very difficult. I decided that I needed to go. The fact that our house had been foreclosed and eviction was impending played a part in the urgency for me to move. Because I was very afraid that the time would come for us to move and we'd have no where to go.
So I found a place for me and the children to go. I saved my money and I moved. For a few months he gave me very little money for I took my time taking him to court. He wasnt paying mortgage so that was the time to save money, but somehow he didn't.
And he's been evicted and he hasnt told his mother or his sister. He told me. Not really sure why and he told a friend who let him stay with him. He doesnt know that I told the friend before he did hoping that he'd reach out to him. I hope that was the right thing to do. I can't reach out to him. But i knew someone needed to.
So its not that I discount what he is going through. I have never gone through it myself. I have been threatened with eviction and when they did I knew I had to either pay up or move. So thats what I did. If I was unable to pay up I moved. You don't just wait around for them to put you out.
Its just that I'm pregnant and the thing is I really thought we were pregnant. This is his child too. And I thought he would act (b/c just waiting around seems to be inactive) for the children even if not for himself.
I dont understand how it appears that he's doing the same stuff after all these months. after all this stuff has happened and he's still doing the same counteractive things.
But i guess what I do not understand is infinite.
I will have to decide if I am willing to continue to be bond to someone i do not understand.
and that's it.
but i think i can give it at least til my hormones are stabilized (after i give birth) and im back to a normal sleep schedule. no need to make big decisions when im under a lot of stress.
and i need to get my lawyer to prepare the papers to split the 401k
after that there my be no more reason to wait.
I wonder if I should just move on. I have the divorce papers ready to be signed. I discussed it with my counselor and he suggested that I give it some more time b/c my heart is still in my marriage. I see no signs of my husband changing and although I have changed in some ways I am unable to change where I am okay with things the way they are.
I find my current situation so terribly sad. My ankles, feet, and legs are swollen. I am so uncomfortable.
My husband was just evicted from our family home and doesnt yet have a place to live. I saw this happening months ago. He has been approved for an apt but did not save the needed money to be able to move in. Living with him months ago was very difficult. I decided that I needed to go. The fact that our house had been foreclosed and eviction was impending played a part in the urgency for me to move. Because I was very afraid that the time would come for us to move and we'd have no where to go.
So I found a place for me and the children to go. I saved my money and I moved. For a few months he gave me very little money for I took my time taking him to court. He wasnt paying mortgage so that was the time to save money, but somehow he didn't.
And he's been evicted and he hasnt told his mother or his sister. He told me. Not really sure why and he told a friend who let him stay with him. He doesnt know that I told the friend before he did hoping that he'd reach out to him. I hope that was the right thing to do. I can't reach out to him. But i knew someone needed to.
So its not that I discount what he is going through. I have never gone through it myself. I have been threatened with eviction and when they did I knew I had to either pay up or move. So thats what I did. If I was unable to pay up I moved. You don't just wait around for them to put you out.
Its just that I'm pregnant and the thing is I really thought we were pregnant. This is his child too. And I thought he would act (b/c just waiting around seems to be inactive) for the children even if not for himself.
I dont understand how it appears that he's doing the same stuff after all these months. after all this stuff has happened and he's still doing the same counteractive things.
But i guess what I do not understand is infinite.
I will have to decide if I am willing to continue to be bond to someone i do not understand.
and that's it.
but i think i can give it at least til my hormones are stabilized (after i give birth) and im back to a normal sleep schedule. no need to make big decisions when im under a lot of stress.
and i need to get my lawyer to prepare the papers to split the 401k
after that there my be no more reason to wait.
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