what's in your blender?
...noticed the pale light through a small break in the curtains. mind transfixed on remembering...is it still yesterday or today. glanced up and couldn't make out the alarm clock. drifting and wondering......gradually the sky grew lighter. it's tomorrow, the morning of tomorrow. my tv is on, but the sound is on mute. at some point i either laid on the remote or the tv simply got tired of talking.....so tired.
i pictured a blender.......holding shredded paper......i knew the paper carried the days of the week, the months, the years.....holidays, birthdays, anniversaries.....deaths, births.....monday, april, christmas, tim was born in august, if i had stayed married i would have recently celebrated a very very long marriage.....ellen just died......baby Kenneth was just born a few months ago. new baby smell.....ahhhhh, nothing like it.
even in the very quiet timber of our lives are happenings. they don't seem as real as life used to be. remember sparklers? when you were a kid, on the 4th of july? daddy would tell us to be careful and then he would strike the match, and pretty soon there were these lovely soft lights sparkling the night sky before your very eyes. i was enthralled, fascinated.......and i think i used to be a sparkler. never knowing how quickly those sparks would cease to shine and dance.
no one ever knows what life will be......we can hope, we can wish and wonder, but no one knows. not even the 1-800-fakeseers. especially not them. tired........trying to manage, doing the bare minimum......grateful again for hot water, fresh cotton to drag over my head.......for things that work, that my home is less cold, must be warmer outside.
yesterday i made quick chili, it was fine, but i didn't want it. later i made pancakes and bacon. better, still not great. i may be getting over and through a virus......sleeping a ton. enough about me, what about you?
thank you for the messages, i love them, treasure them and feel like the worst kind of slug for not being in touch. you touch my life and i pray i can feel better enough soon to get out of this house. get fresh produce.......fruit, green crunchy stuff.......get your rest, i'm thinking of you........so, what's in your blender?
Replies
Very interesting journal, Ruthie. Have you seen the email I sent you the other day of all of the old time photos. That will sure bring back some memories as well. Hugs;;;;Bear
Hello, lovely. Your blender idea is very intriguing. I'm not sure what's in my blender. My eldest is going off to college in the fall. So, I have been reminiscing of late about when she was a baby. I agree with you about the new baby smell. I miss that. My babies are growing up. All I have now in the way of babies is my cat, but the kids keep reminding me that she is technically middle-aged. Love you.
I have baby Jaxli in my arms a lot. I love him so much. He is 10 mths. He smells delicious and he lights up my life. Now little Sumika..just 13 days old. My little Japanese granddaughter. Hard to see any resemblance from our side.A little Japanese doll with black hair. The grandma Tomiko, is here from Osaka and staying for weeks. Very attached to Sumika and her body language seems to say...She's mine. I was there for the birth...a difficult 18hr labour. Sumika came early and grandma from Japan didn't make it in time. She uses the name Chacha instead of grandmother...very groovy. She is sleeping in the same room as mother and baby and my son is in another. Today in Japanese she said she wants her in Japan...oh dear. My son wants her here in Australia. I can understand how Tomiko feels.
I remember those sparklers too Ruthie. Gone the days of old.. A fading memory. I forgot until you just reminded me. I loved them too. Life feels like a blinking of the eyelid sometimes. It's a very short journey. Certainly passes by too quickly now. We all have to leave each other after all the love and bonding. What a tough journey. How are we supposed to detach. Not possible. Love never dies. Still we have to let people depart and we have to keep on breathing and living. Geez..I'm a bit morbid..sorry. Lighten up Di..blend up a better smoothie girl. Ha ha talking to myself here lol ! That's a worry Ruthie. Ha ha.
My daughter Shantali, and partner and two kids and a cat & a dog are all moving in here tomorrow. I'm going mental.
OK going now. Will watch some telly . Love you.xoxoxoxo