What's going on?
I haven't done this in a LONG time!! I figure I need to get it out!
I have been going through so many downs lately that I can't focus on what is important anymore. I should be in the prime of my life! I'm married to a wonderful man who loves to have fun. We use to have fun no matter what we did and now, it's like pulling teeth to get me to have fun! I have to really push myself. Sometimes it's worth it and sometimes it completely drains me, more of the latter lately. I know this sounds like depression and it does cause some, but it's my body! I can't get rid of this "sleepy" state of mind. It hurts to do anything, especially on this new med, Fentanyl patch. It works somewhat but not as well as what I was taking. I can't blame the sleepiness on Fentanyl because that started before I switched. There is something else going on and this process of trying to get doctors to listen to me is taking its toll on me. I wish I could take a really really long nap and wake up feeling normal again. I need to go back to school and get a career. I love what I do now but my body is telling me otherwise. I can't focus enough to even write this. My memory is getting really bad and I just want to cry because of it. Being a bartender and forgetting that someone wants a Coke makes my job really difficult. I know it can't be from the season change because I absolutely LOVE fall. I tried to blame it on that but who am I kidding!!
I just want this to pass.
I have been going through so many downs lately that I can't focus on what is important anymore. I should be in the prime of my life! I'm married to a wonderful man who loves to have fun. We use to have fun no matter what we did and now, it's like pulling teeth to get me to have fun! I have to really push myself. Sometimes it's worth it and sometimes it completely drains me, more of the latter lately. I know this sounds like depression and it does cause some, but it's my body! I can't get rid of this "sleepy" state of mind. It hurts to do anything, especially on this new med, Fentanyl patch. It works somewhat but not as well as what I was taking. I can't blame the sleepiness on Fentanyl because that started before I switched. There is something else going on and this process of trying to get doctors to listen to me is taking its toll on me. I wish I could take a really really long nap and wake up feeling normal again. I need to go back to school and get a career. I love what I do now but my body is telling me otherwise. I can't focus enough to even write this. My memory is getting really bad and I just want to cry because of it. Being a bartender and forgetting that someone wants a Coke makes my job really difficult. I know it can't be from the season change because I absolutely LOVE fall. I tried to blame it on that but who am I kidding!!
I just want this to pass.
Replies