What kind of support

I've spied on my girlfriends undressing. I've cheated on girlfriends. I have sexted and cybersexed but I've only ever had one real healthy sexual relationship. I feel damaged. I used to think that I was asexual because I only wanted to masturbate to porn. Then I thought I was a sex addict. I would obsess over getting someone to be sexual with me in any way. But I never did anything because it was easier to just jerk off at home. I feel ugly and unlovable. I feel alone. I wonder what I'm doing here on this website if it will help me or just perpetuate whatever it is I'm going through.