What it feels like...

I get what your saying but those smiles and thoughts are only temporary. I do love life.... in moments.... sometimes in hours, days, weeks, and even months. But those don't last forever. It always comes back ALWAYS! It is never gone just quiet, dormant, lurking, waiting for its opportunity, for a moment of weakness, a moment of distraction and BAM! Just like that it takes over! And not just your thoughts, but every single part of you. It leaves you in a state of fog, confusion, hopeless and abandoned. And IT WINS! IT ALWAYS WINS!