What is my "Edge"?

Just returned home from a much needed weekend. Took 7 of our High School boys to a Mid Winter retreat for youth groups. Over 100 kids and adults from Central and Western Kansas.
Believe me, I was just on auto pilot, as I have been the last month and ahalf. But I felt I needed to do this for the kids. Jeff and I had been youth sponsors for a year before he started getting weak. The kids hung out here with our boys and when he passed, they all either came to the viewing or  our home for support. Jeff believed in "tuff love", but they loved him and respected him. He was a jokester too! :)
The speaker at this weekend's event had a message for the kids about : Finding your "edge". Where are you now in life and life's events and what is your "edge" that God is pushing you towards?  And what does God call you? ( besides child )? The speaker was a trouble maker in school, got into making wrong choices, went to college and majored in Graphic Art and had internships at large ad agencies who offered him jobs that paid very nicely when he graduated. But he went on a 2 week trip to Mexico with a friend and there he was introduced to a church ( even though he didn't speak spanish) and a room full of young children who had no caring families, and after 2 weeks, he was making plans to return. Didn't know what he would do there, just knew he needed to go back. Needless to say, he is now a missionary, met and married his wife, had 2 daughters, made his living doing graphic design for churches, started a foundation, and found his "edge".
I went to this retreat with the intention that I had too much going on in my life now and I knew that I just can't continue with a lot of them. Some are just too painful without Jeff. This was one thing I was going to give up as soon as we came back today. But, God has a sense of humor. He let be humor myself into thinking I was done. And then, he led me to adults who could give me clarity as to what I am to do with not only this group of kids, but other  people. And I can say my "edge" as I see it today, is that I was pushed to the edge of losing the love of my life and feeling alone, to the edge of making a difference in so many other peoples' lives.
So, I am home again. I'm sitting in my bedroom catching up on all of the things I left "undone". But I can say that I feel different. I am not an overly religious person, don't get me wrong. I would say I am more interested in helping people and doing the right thing. And I feel revived just a bit. Like my soul, which had been crying for a month now, had finally gotten a bit of hope and light it needed.
I wish I could bottle it up and send it to everyone here who has made a difference in my last few weeks. You all deserve to feel it too. It is there though, if you just ask for it.
Liz

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Wonderful to read this post and the \'edge\' you have. I went on \'The Walk to Emmaus\' retreat back in Nov. and my parched spirit was quenched in love. Always good to hear of each healing touch that comes our way..Hugs, D
angelspeak
angelspeak

D:
My 17 year old son, Hunter, was really touched this time. He is an amazing drummer who is focused on doing something with music as a career. I\'ve encouraged him to get into business and then work it with drums. He said he didn\'t know what to expect this weekend. But he kept saying to himself, if God wanted his music to be his \"edge\", he\'d somehow be up on the stage playing with the praise band. Now, they already had a drummer, and a back up drummer. So, the weekend went on and this morning, the director of the band came to Hunter and said they had something come up and they needed him to drum for them for the retreats final service.
WHAT????? Amazing! Hunter is full of hope now. He is excited about everything he experienced this weekend. He has lots of questions that I can\'t answer, but we will find the answers together. He couldn\'t wait to tell his older brother, Connor, all about his weekend and what God showed him. Needless to say, I\'m a happy Mom! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

What a wonderful uplifting journal entry. You may not be a religious person but you sure are a spiritual person. Thank you for sharing and I\'m happy you have found your \"edge\". Blessings Carole
KipB
KipB

Thanks for sharing this and glad you\'ve found an edge!!! Hugs, Kip.
janalM
janalM

They say God moves in mysterious ways, Hunter is lucky to have the support of such a loving mom and the gathering sounds wonderful. Its fantasiic when you are touched and find the inner peace, or edge, you truly were blessed. in happiness.. Jane