What is going on?
Well Today and yesterday have been ok days. I feel guilty for feeling ok right now? I mean I am at work so I have been kept busy, I just feel like its wrong for me to be functioning. Marissa's friend Maddie called me yesterday morning crying, she said she had this really vivid dream and Marissa hugged her and said everything is going to be ok Maddie I promise! That gave me the most special feeling I have ever gotten. Other than than missing her with every part of me being I hurt so bad because as a mom I need to KNOW she is ok, I feel like she was trying to tell us she is ok.
Marissa was always really bothered by her family and close friends being upset, never like us to cry and when we did she wouldnt stop until she made us smile and we felt ok. I love her so very much. I still feel so empty but I actually smiled today thinking of her.
Marissa was always really bothered by her family and close friends being upset, never like us to cry and when we did she wouldnt stop until she made us smile and we felt ok. I love her so very much. I still feel so empty but I actually smiled today thinking of her.
Replies
Tight hugs. It is okay to feel okay. There is no need to feel guilty, though I know we all have those feelings.
I am so glad that Marissa is letting people know that she is fine.
Love, M
I believe that was a sign from Marissa and she loves seeing you smile. We all go through the \"guilty feeling\" phase of this journey, it\'s only normal. I think your smile came from Marissa telling you to smile.
BIG (((hugs))) and much love. xoxo Sharon
It took me a long time to get over the guilt. It\'s normal. And i do believe you received a sign from Marissa, trust it, believe. Sending tight hugs and much love. Sue xo
it is a strange feeling to be happy again or to laugh,,, I still have trouble with it,, but .. ..... love ya!
I understand feeling guilty, because I do too. I think it is normal. Hugs, Paula
Oh the guilt we feel...so very normal - takes a long time to get past it. Walking right beside you....Hugs, Ann
I remember feeling the same way...but it IS okay to feel okay. It is a roller coaster ride. And I believe that Marissa was communicating with you and Maddie...she wants you to know she is okay...and she is. It is us that have to \"get\" okay with them being gone. And...being okay may take a long time...or never come...but you learn to live with the loss. Love and gentle hugs...Karen
I don\'t believe there is a mom here who didn\'t and hasn\'t felt this way. I know I have. The first time I laughed I looked around because I knew that it had not come from \"me\" yet it had and I felt startled by it. This is all a part of this path that we learn to walk in our own way and none of us are meant to live in acute grief for a lifetime. Just like the tides there are ebbs and flows and for me \"automatic pilot\" times too when I just need to not think too much.
Grateful for the signs and I have no doubt that our children are okay and even more than that. Over time somehow we learn how to carry this loss and find our way. This is what you are doing and it\'s a muscle that has never been worked before in this way so it\'s gaining strength and growing as are you.
Gratitude for the pauses to catch your breath and so very needed.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
I\'m glad you\'re having some OK days. Please don\'t feel guilty. You deserve those. You\'re heart needs a break from the anguish. Cherish those OK days because when a down day comes, you will know that there are OK days ahead. I love when moms get those little signs. Never doubt they are real. Much love. Robin